Relationshape is reader-supported. We may earn commissions if you buy through our links.


How to Ask Your Ex Out? (All You Need to Know!)

Asking your ex to hang out with you may sound intimidating, but if you propose this idea in a decent manner, it can work out in your favor.

The trick is to keep it casual, along the lines of “let’s catch up tomorrow or the day after to say hi.”  Asking out in this way won’t get you a “no” in response because your ex won’t want to be seen as emotionally immature or someone who is holding grudges against you.

Is It Okay to Ask Your Ex Out?

If you broke up first, then you’re in a much better position to ask your ex out. Else, you will have to check whether or not your ex is emotionally available for you. If your ex has moved on, maybe they have outgrown you or have found a new partner, then asking them out may not be the best idea. However, if you both still have feelings for each other, then go ahead, meet up with your ex!

How Should You Ask Your Ex Out?

Here is a step-by-step guide on how to ask your ex out without failing at it miserably:

1. Keep Things Low-Key

First and foremost, you should reconnect with your ex. Don’t bombard them with your calls or texts. Instead, send them a short and friendly text to keep things low-key. At this stage, you need to test the water – whether or not your ex is interested in talking to you.

You can send them a sweet “reminded-me-of-you” text. For instance, you can say something like, “I went to a comic store and came across the copy of a new Spiderman comic – reminded me of you.”

2. Engage Your Ex in Small Conversations

For example, ask them what they have been up to lately? What’s going on in their life? Asking such questions will give you a lot to talk about with your ex, help you catch up with your ex, and become friends with your ex again.

3. Talk on the Phone

Once you both have had nice and friendly texting conversations, you can take things to the next level. Ask your ex if you can call them.

Make sure you keep the conversation light. Avoid bringing up the subject of the break up over the call because it is something that you should talk to your ex in person. When talking on the phone, make sure you have something worth telling your ex about. Think of telling them a funny incident or a horrible thing that happened to you recently. Talk about a subject that both of you can speak on at length and rekindle a friendly relationship.

4. Politely Ask to Meet

After talking to your ex for some time – both over texts and calls – it won’t be so awkward asking them out. In fact, you will be a better judge of the prospect of asking your ex out again. For instance, by this time, you will have an idea of whether or not your ex will be interested in meeting you.

If you see your ex still likes you or doesn’t mind being friends with you again, casually make a plan to meet up. Don’t try to make it a big deal. You can say something like, “Hey, I’m going to this new art museum tomorrow. Would you be interested in joining me?” Make sure you choose to hang out at a place where your ex will enjoy or love it. Also, plan a fun, light activity with your ex so that you get a chance to rebuild the relationship successfully.

What Should You Not Do When Asking Your Ex Out?

There are certain things you should steer clear from if you want to successfully ask your ex out to hang out with you. Here are some common mistakes you should avoid at all costs:

1. Initiate the Talk by Asking Them to Meet

This is a big no-no.

Your first message to your ex can’t be of asking them to meet you. They will outright say no to you, especially if they are still hurting over the breakup or have moved on.

2. Asking Them “If It’s Okay to Hang Out”

As I said earlier, don’t make the whole idea of asking your ex out sound wrong or awkward. You need to appear confident when asking to catch up with your ex.

Man up and take the lead. Don’t shy away because otherwise, it will only make your ex feel you are uncertain about re-developing the relationship. And this, in turn, will make them feel a tad bit insecure, too.

3. Giving Them an Idea That You’re Looking for a Deeply Committed Relationship Rather than Just Being Friends

Sure, you must be looking for a long serious relationship with your ex, but you need to understand that you can’t let them sense this at the beginning of it all. The idea of being together forever may scare away your ex, provided that you both shared a rocky relationship.

Plus, you can’t give this feeling away if you and your ex haven’t dealt with or talked about the problems you both faced due to which both of you parted ways. My advice is to take things slow and take one step at a time. Don’t rush into getting back with your ex straight away.

4. Being Desperate

I get it – you may be eager to meet your ex, especially if you haven’t seen them for months or years. But you don’t need to let that on. You don’t want to sound desperate, or your ex will never agree to meet you in the first place. Instead, they will feel annoyed or irritated. 

What To Text Your Ex After No Contact?

Thinking to reach out to your ex after a super long time? You may feel awkward in doing so, but here’s how you can make the whole process smooth and friendly:

1. Send Your Ex an “I Have a Confession” Text

Your aim at this point should be to grab your ex’s attention, and the best way to do it is by texting them saying you have to make a confession. This could be a sincere apology for your past actions or the outward expression of your raw emotions over the breakup.

2. Engage Your Ex in a Small Conversation

Engagement is key here. Your ex can easily get bored of you and ghost you in seconds, so you better engage them in fun, hearty conversations. This will make them want to talk to you more!

3. Keep the Conversation Going

Keep the ball rolling if you want to improve your relationship with your ex. Talk about their everyday life, their job, family, friends, and everything related to them. Ask questions so that you have something more concrete to talk about.

4. Send Jokes or Memes

When you run out of topics to talk about, try sending funny jokes or relatable memes to your ex to keep your ex hooked with you!

How Do I Ask My Ex Back Over Text Messages?

Text messages are a great tool to help get back your ex. Here’s how you can use texts to your aid:

1. Start With the Memory or Advice Text

Before you jump to the point, you should start with something sweet and simple such as sending your ex a lovely memory text or an emergency advice/help text. For instance, you can ask them if they will be kind enough to help your younger bro with a math equation since they are good at math.  

2. Build Trust and Connection

Once you have touched base with your ex, now is the time to reconnect with your ex more deeply. Talk about common interests that you both share or anything you feel that will keep your ex interested in you. Also, be honest with your ex to rebuild a trustworthy relationship. For example, you can text your ex, confessing, “Honestly, I have missed you so much. It feels so good to be talking to you again”.

3. Talk About Funny or Happy Incidents

Keep your ex interested in talking to you so that they can consider you back again. Share funny, exciting, or even weird stories with your ex so that they look forward to talking to you every time you text them. Send a “curious” text to your ex, such as, “Hey, do you know what just happened at work? You won’t believe it!”

4. Make “Hangout” Plans

When is the right time to do so? Not immediately after reconnecting with your ex, of course. Once you have based the relationship on nice, friendly terms, then you can consider sending them a “catchup” text.

For instance, you can say, “Hey, I’ll be in your office’s area tomorrow, wanna catch up for coffee?” If your ex is hesitant or says no, try convincing her lightly by saying along the lines of “Come on, it’s just a coffee.”  

What Should You Do When Hanging Out with Your Ex?

So, your ex finally agreed to meet you (yay!). You are probably worried, wondering what to do or not to do when hanging out with your ex. Here are all the tips!

1. Be Confident and Friendly  

Even if it was your ex who broke up with you, don’t let that bitter past stop you from being nice and friendly to your ex. Also, don’t act shy or awkward. It will make things worse for your ex, too. They may also end up feeling weird around you.

A piece of advice: Just be cool and yourself!

2. Talk About Good Times

Reserve talking about the problems you two had for the second meeting or so. In your first meet up, just reminisce the good old times so that the re-beginning of the relationship is based upon good thoughts.

3. Don’t Ask Your Ex to Get Back Together Right Away

Just don’t.

Suggesting or bagging your ex to be with you again will diminish any chances of hanging out with your ex again.

4. Surprise Your Ex with a Gift

If you and your ex ended on bad terms or you were responsible for the breakup, giving your ex a gift will help mend your relationship with them. They will feel touched by this sweet gesture!

5. Keep the Conversation Fluid

For the first meet-up, let the conversation flow naturally. Don’t start talking about the past or old problems unless your ex is willing to. If your ex brings up the subject of the relationship or issues that both of you had with each other, don’t avoid it then. It means your ex is ready to talk about it, and so should you.  

6. Apologize and Let Your Ex Know You Miss Them

Depending on the situation, you can let your ex know how you feel toward them. For instance, if you see that your ex is slightly upset over everything you two went through, you may need to apologize and let them know you miss their company. This will help soften their heart for you.

However, this entirely depends on the situation. If you feel like it’s the right step to take at that particular time, go ahead and express your true feelings to your ex. 

What to Do If Your Ex Refuses to Go Out with You?

If your ex refuses to go out with you, do not force them to meet you. Take their no as a sign to move on. After all, what’s the point of hanging out with your ex when they are not ready or least interested? You won’t accomplish anything there.

If you are looking for ways to rekindle your relationship with your ex, get your hands on this book now; and thank me later!

Similar Posts