Relationshape is reader-supported. We may earn commissions if you buy through our links.


How To Get Your Ex Back Fast By Text Message? (Examples!)

It is natural to feel down in the dumps after breaking up with your partner, but as the saying goes, “time heals everything.”

However, if this feeling persists and you discover that you were indeed happier with your ex than being single, you may be tempted to drop them a text message.

Now here’s the catch:

Sending the wrong text message can pretty much make you sound single and desperate. This article is going to give you some useful tips to draft just the right text message to get your ex back.

Is Texting the Best Way of Communication?

You may be in a dilemma regarding the means of communication when it comes to approaching your ex. It can be difficult to decide whether you should text, call, or meet them face-to-face.

Brad Browning, a breakup and divorce expert, says, “Personally, from my 12+ years of experience as a breakup coach, I believe texting is a much safer way to communicate with your ex.”

It is a non-invasive means of communication and saves you the anxiety of a full-fledged face-to-face conversation. Your ex can take their time to respond, and you can also think over your texts before sending them. For some interesting suggestions, check out “200 Text Messages Your Ex Would Love to Receive” on Amazon.

During phone calls and face-to-face conversations, either of you may feel awkward or nervous, which may hold you back from saying the things you really want to say to each other.

However, in rare cases, texting may not be a suitable option. For instance, if you two never used to text each other during the relationship and only talked via phone calls, then it may be strange to initiate a conversation through text messages.

What to Say in the Text Message?

You may have trouble deciding what exactly your text should say in order to spark a conversation. I’ll jump straight to the point and highlight the 5 different types of texts that are safe and effective to get your ex back:

1. Nostalgic Texts

Send a casual text reminding your ex of a memorable experience that you two shared during your time together. This technique is most suitable when the relationship ended on a relatively civil rather than sour note.

Here are some suggestions you can use:

  • “Hey, remember that fantastic dinner we had on the corner of Alexander Street? What was that restaurant called again? I want to take a friend there.”

Such a message can serve as a double-edged sword: it will remind your ex about the positive experience they shared with you, and may even trigger some jealousy and mystery regarding the “friend” you plan on going to the restaurant with.

  • “I watched Titanic again. I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve watched that together! Seeing it again surely made me miss the old days.

A message like may be successful in making your ex travel down the memory lane and recall the good times they spent with you. If luck is on your side, they may reply in the same tone, giving you a go-ahead to prolong the conversation.

  • “Mom adores you as much as ever. She was asking about you just today.”

This is a casual text message that avoids the risk of sounding desperate. If your ex is interested, they may reply asking you about your mother, which would undoubtedly be a positive indication.

2. Conversation Starters

These texts are aimed to begin contact with your ex by sparking an informal conversation. They can help break the ice by restoring normalcy in communication.

Here are some sample text messages to help you get started:

  • “I know how tense you get during exams. Take care of yourself.”

This kind of message would simply be considered a sweet gesture from your end. It would show your genuineness, making it likely for your ex to send an amicable text in return.

  • “Are you going to Kate’s party?”

If a mutual friend is throwing a party or having a get-together, you can simply text your ex to ask them if they would also be there. A friendly text like this simply cannot go wrong.

  • “[Send photo]. Do you remember where this was taken?”

Sending a visual cue may be a great way to incite a conversation with your ex. If you have a picture which is particularly memorable for the two of you, you can send it to your ex to make him relive the good times. If he still has a soft corner for you, you may successfully receive an enthusiastic response.

3. Sparking Positive Jealousy

You can send a subtle yet impactful message to your ex to test whether he still has feelings for you. However, beware when sending this kind of text message, as it can easily backfire too. Check out these text message templates to begin:

  • “I just saw Crazy Stupid Love with a friend. You must watch it. I think you would really like it.”

This kind of message would indicate that you are feeling fine after the breakup and are out meeting new people instead of sulking. Your ex may feel a twinge of jealousy to hear about you having a good time with someone, which may lead him to reconsider the breakup.

  • “Went to the Radiohead concert last night. You would have really enjoyed, had you attended.”

This message would let your ex know that you are capable of enjoying even without him in your life. However, the fact that you thought of him and texted him can subtly hint towards your soft corner for him.

  • “Hey, it was awesome running into you last night. You looked amazing,” followed by, “Oops, sorry! Wrong person!”

Such a message may look like an obvious attempt to make your ex feel jealous. However, if you know them to be the sort of person who would easily buy into the game you are playing, then you might as well take the risk.

4. Open-Ended Questions

These texts should ideally sound upbeat, positive and interesting. You can ask them specific questions regarding their interests to make them share general life updates after breakup. Make sure that you avoid broaching negative or emotional topics.

  • “Are you still applying for new jobs, or have you found one already?”

This is a question targeted towards your ex’s career, which is a rather neutral subject to have a conversation about. They may simply take it as a casual question and send you a cordial response.

  • “I was talking to a friend about Australia last night. Are you still considering going there for a couple of months?”

Other than asking an obvious question, such a text will also let your ex know that you still have a social life. A general question of this kind can easily start a conversation in a light tone.

  • “How’s your thesis coming along?”

This academics-oriented text can hardly come across as desperate or needy. Your ex-partner probably used to discuss his thesis woes with you. Such a text can be a good way to being communication, especially if you two often consulted each other on academic matters.

5. Intrigue Texts

The best gift you can give yourself after a breakup is to make an effort to excel in your endeavors. When your ex sees you living your best life, they may just get attracted to you all over again. Capture their attention by showing him how you have turned into a better version of yourself.

  • “I just ran my first half marathon! How awesome is that? Remember when I could barely run a mile?”

This type of message is sure to rouse their interest. They may wonder how you turned into a runner and became so invested in fitness. Eventually, it may lead them to imagine how fantastic you may be looking after shaping up.

  • “I just returned from a trip to week-long trip to Miami. Have you ever been there? The beaches are amazing, you’d definitely love them.”

Sending this kind of text to your ex would probably have them thinking who you went to Miami with. If you were not particularly a fan of beaches earlier, they may begin to wonder how your tastes changed. Intrigue texts can help get your ex back by making them think about you in a different manner.

The Don’ts

The key is to get your ex back by inciting a positive response from their end. Make sure you keep the tone light-hearted and do not fall into the trap of sounding clingy and desperate, even if that’s how you feel.

1. Do not respond immediately

It is natural to reply immediately out of excitement. However, this may foil your attempts to appear nonchalant. Keep a substantial delay between text messages so that it does not seem like you are holding your phone in your hand and are available to respond immediately.

2. Keep replies short

Do not send long, rambling text messages to your ex. Keep them brief, but not short enough to make them feel ignored. According to Coach Lee, a relationship expert, “No one wants to be ignored, and if your ex thinks or believes that you won’t respond, then he or she will stop texting you.”

3. Avoid melodrama

Steer clear of emotional talk and strictly avoid discussing the relationship you had with your ex. You may be curious whether your ex has started dating again, but hold yourself back from asking such a question.

Watch this video tutorial to help you get your ex back fast while maintaining your image. Remember to stay positive so that your ex would eventually want to meet up with you again.

Similar Posts