So, you and your significant other have just broken up. Hey, it’s okay. I get it. These things happen. The thing with breakups is that a lot of the time, people try to get back together with their exes. If your ex displays signs like:
- Staying in touch
- Keeping you updated about his life
- Asks for updates about your life
- Talks about the relationship
It means he’s not over you and wants you back. Let’s get into the signs in more detail.
11 Signs He Wants You Back
1. He Stays in Touch
When you break up with someone, the ideal thing to do is to end all contact with them. If your ex-boyfriend dumped you but still tries to call you or leaves a text every now and then, it’s clear that he’s thinking about you and wants to patch things up with you.
2. He Moves on Too Fast
If he cuts off all contact with you immediately after the breakup, he might be on a rebound trip. He will try to get over you and force himself to date other women just to get over you. But this does not mean that he has moved on.
3. He Shows Unnecessary Anger
Let’s get one thing clear: the opposite of love is not hate; it is being indifferent and having no feelings whatsoever. If he still loves you, he may try to act indifferent after a breakup, but deep down, he knows that he has feelings for you.
4. He Tries To Talk About the Relationship
If he continues to talk to you about the relationship and keeps on bringing up stuff from the past, it could be a sign indicating that he still wants you back.
5. He Keeps You Posted
One of the most obvious signs he wants you back is that he keeps you updated about his life, his routine, or generally about anything. He basically wants you to know how he’s doing without you – this is either an attempt to make you miss him or an attempt to show you how much he misses you being part of his life.
6. He Tries To Make You Laugh
If you have been in a relationship with him for a long time, he probably knows what makes you laugh. He will try to do things that will make you laugh or smile. He will try his best to make you happy so that you fall for him once again.
7. He Keeps Tabs On You
If your ex is stalking you in any way or keeping regular checks on you simply by calling or asking if there is anything new in your life, you should beware. He clearly wants to know what’s going on with you or if you have found a new boyfriend even though it is none of his business. Also, this isn’t the best way of trying to get you back. If you find yourself in this situation, be firm and tell him that you don’t appreciate him keeping tabs on you.
8. He Changes Himself
You may no longer care what your ex is up to after a breakup. But he might want to show you how he has changed or how he is trying to improve his behavior. According to Go Dates, when a man wants you back, he knows what he needs to do to get your attention. This includes making the changes you wanted him to make while you two were still together.
9. He Wants To Meet Up
If he is constantly asking you to make plans to meet up, then he is ready to start dating you again. He will probably not make it too obvious and easy, though.
10. He Asks Mutual Friends about You
If you have any mutual friends, your ex might try to find out stuff about you through them. For example, he might want to know if you are seeing someone else or generally any updates that he could possibly get.
11. He Wants to Be Your Friend
Why would someone want to remain friends with their ex? Why would you want a constant reminder that things did not work out well between you two? There are chances that your ex might try to be your friend simply because he wants you back.
Why Does He Want You Back?
Sometimes, getting over someone becomes very difficult for a guy, and in a moment of weakness, he might feel like wanting to be together again. According to Theresa Alice, a relationship expert, maybe your ex wants to give the relationship a new start. Here are a few reasons why he might want you back in his life:
When there is a lack of communication, there is always room for misunderstandings. For instance, your boyfriend might have said something to you which you misinterpreted and nobody decided to clear the air. This led to a snowball effect, and eventually, the end of the relationship.
2. He Knows He Made a Mistake
He broke up with you because he made a mistake and now he has realized that you are the one he actually wants.
3. He Can’t Let You Go
It can be difficult to let go and move on after breaking up. If he still wants you, he might visit you with flowers and chocolates, apologize and ask for forgiveness, and might even beg you to take him back.
How Do You Know If He Is Hiding His Feelings?
The fact is that men are not very good at dealing with their feelings, especially romantic feelings. This is because they are not very good at communicating their emotions. Here are a couple of signs you should look out for to know if he is hiding his feelings:
1. Inconsistent Behavior
You will notice that he will be very sweet at times and other times he will act cold as ice.
2. The Way He Looks at You
You might catch him staring at you, but it won’t be in a creepy way. Instead, it will be kind of sweet, but he will never talk to you about it.
3. He Prefers to Be Around You but Only in a Group
He wants to spend time with you, but he does not want to go out with you alone because he is confused about his feelings.
4. He is Nervous and Awkward
If you guys broke up, but he is still thinking about you, it will probably make him nervous and awkward if you were to meet again.
How Long Will He Take to Realize That He Wants You Back?
Now, this one is a bit tricky to answer, but I will do my best. I feel that there are three timelines for this realization. They are:
The short timeline is anywhere between 1 to 3 months. In this time, the emotional impact of the breakup will weigh heavy on his mind. Since his feelings are still raw, he might use them to think about the relationship and where it went wrong. He will start missing you, and when that happens, he will do whatever he can to try to get back together with you.
The medium timeline can take between 6 months to a year. By month 6, he’s probably getting over the relationship, but still has lingering feelings for you. This time is also enough for him to make changes to himself.
The long-term timeline is where a lot of thought and deliberation comes in. If your ex is the type that thinks things through, this is probably the timeline that will have the most success, were you two to get back together. A year after the relationship ended is a long time, and it means that your ex has given a lot of thought to what happened between the two of you and why it happened.
Is Your Ex Interested or Just Being Nice?
You might think that your ex is being nice to you because you have known each other for a while and is a good gesture. But that might not be true.
Experts suggest that sometimes when your ex tries to make eye contact with you or playfully tries to touch you, it could mean that he is into you. Sometimes it is their actions that reflect their subconscious, and that is how you know for sure what’s on their mind.
But don’t go ahead and quickly take him back into your arms. If your intentions with him are clear and you know where you stand, you should clearly let him know about it rather than giving him false hope and letting him believe that there might still be hope.
What Should You Do When Your Ex Wants You Back?
1. Don’t Rush back
Your ex needs to make some serious changes before he can have you back so that you don’t have to go through the painful breakup once again.
2. Give Him Time
Give him some time to prove that he is a better person before you decide to go back to him. Make sure that he wants you because he really loves you.
3. Don’t Trust Him Blindly
Whatever the reasons were for breaking up, things will probably not be the same again, so you have to careful about trusting him again.
4. Be Observant
Be cautious this time and observe his behavior carefully. If at any point you feel like he will repeat the same thing all over again, you should immediately talk to him about it.
Ending a relationship is one of those decisions that might come back to haunt you later. Whether he breaks up with you or you break up with him, he could come back knocking on your door once again.
The important thing that you need to understand is that most guys have a huge ego problem, so there might not be a romantic gesture involved no matter how much he wants you back. But you can always tell by observing the signs.
You can read more about the different signs in the book ’12 sure signs he likes you’ by Tammie Taylor, which is conveniently available on Amazon.
Note to Self
Whatever the sings are, you should not rush into anything. You both should take your time to make a rational decision instead of acting on your emotions. But if you truly believe that you can build an honest relationship and you make each other happy, there is nothing wrong with giving it another shot.
On the other hand, if it is unhealthy and is only making you more miserable, you should just cut off all ties with him and not give him a chance to contact you. Just think long before reconciling anything and put yourself first before making a decision.