A rebound relationship is a temporary fix to a deeper problem and it makes you miss your ex more because:
While the rebound relationship may feel great in the beginning, soon after getting into it, the bubble will start to burst. You will remember the good memories of your previous relationship and the habits that you miss in your ex. You will then realize that you can’t just replace your ex with a rebound because that’s just not how relationships work. They are not your ex and can’t be.
‘The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else’, you must have heard that one before. Unfortunately, it may not be the best advice and can do just the opposite, i.e., make you miss your ex more.
Jumping from one relationship to the other prevents you from facing the fact that the relationship is over and letting go of your ex.
Instead, you are just distracting yourself and this strategy may work for a while, but soon, you will be forced to confront your feelings and will realize just how much you miss your ex.
Here is some further insight into the topic that will change your perspective:
What is a Rebound Relationship?
According to Relationship Expert Coach Lee, a rebound relationship is “A relationship where a person tries to continue the advantages and positives of the relationship they just left or was forced from, with someone new. The person projects positives and wishes from the previous relationship onto the new person and the new relationship, but usually comes to a point where they realize the feelings and the relationship, in general, is forced, artificial, and is mostly a crutch to protect themselves from the full consequences of the ending of the previous relationship.”
Why Do People Get Into Rebound Relationships?
There can be multiple reasons why people get into rebound relationships, but it’s mostly because:
- They are desperately trying to move on from their ex.
- They think that by being with someone else, they will forget the memories of their past relationship and the person they were with. It is instant gratification where they won’t have to confront their feelings.
- Both individuals are trying to move on and maybe missing the other person. This sometimes leads to them finding someone new in the first few weeks after the breakup. Rather than facing and dealing with the fact that they miss their ex, they jump into something new. The rebound is their attempt at replacing their ex so that they don’t end up thinking about them.
- They are trying to make their ex jealous
This is, of course, another sign that they are not over their ex.
Stages Of a Rebound Relationship
There are typically six stages in every rebound relationship. While it may start on a good note, also known as the honeymoon period, it often just end ups with you missing your ex even more and having to deal with the fact that the relationship is over.
Here are the six most common stages of a rebound relationship that you may go through:
1. Finding Someone To Rebound With
The first step is for you to find a rebound. In this stage, you have given in to the temptation of seeking a physical or emotional connection with someone new. It is an easy fix where you don’t have to deal with the baggage that comes with a serious relationship. You are looking for relief in the arms of someone else.
In most cases, people pick someone either exactly like their ex or they will go for someone completely the opposite. Both these scenarios are because they are trying to replace their ex either consciously or subconsciously with someone. However, the rebound is like a bandaid that they are using to help them heal and recover after the breakup.
2. It’s All Rainbows and Butterflies Initially
This is basically the honeymoon period. It’s the start of something new and probably the happiest part of most relationships, especially when it comes to rebounds. Even the most annoying habits of your partner will seem funny and cute to you at this stage.
You will go out on fun dates and spend a lot of time together. It’s likely that you have not yet discovered the weaknesses of the other person. You can call this stage a bubble.
During this stage, you will just think about how happy you are and how your last relationship was nothing like the new one. You will want to spend all your time with your rebound and ignore everything else around you.
I hate to burst your bubble, but this phase doesn’t last very long. After some time, you will start seeing the flaws of the other person and things will start getting real.
3. The Need to Prove To Your Loved Ones The New Relationship Is The Real Deal
Even though you and your new partner may be slowly exiting the honeymoon phase, you don’t want to admit it. Your friends might have warned you about this earlier that the new person in your life is just a rebound, but you don’t want to accept that.
You are extra sensitive at this point as you are probably already sad from the breakup, so anything external can hit you hard. For this reason, you will do everything you possibly can to prove to yourself and the world that the rebound relationship is real and not just a temporary fix.
4. The Breaking Point
Unfortunately, a relationship, especially a rebound one, can’t always be positive. There will be a point in your rebound relationship where you break down and it all hits you. The newness and the charm of the relationship will start to wear off and you will start to see things as they are.
Your new partner’s flaws will start to become evident to you and even start annoying you. It could be little things like leaving their hair in the drain to bigger things like the way they don’t make an effort with your friends.
You may even go down the memory lane and dote over how perfect your last partner was and how much you miss them. You will start comparing your new relationship with the previous one. It will make you miss the ‘realness‘ of a relationship as opposed to the rebound one that you most likely rushed into.
5. Feelings of Regret and Disappointment
At this stage, you will start to realize that you probably made a big mistake. You will realize that you rushed into something that wasn’t exactly real and was instead just an image in your head.
This realization will probably make you miss your ex even more. You might start distancing yourself from the new person and spend less time with them. It is likely that the two of you will start bickering more and getting into fights.
6. Making a Move
You will not be able to continue with the way things are. This means that you will either abandon the new relationship or go back to stage three, which is the ‘need to prove’ and get into the vicious cycle again.
If you end up doing the former instead of the latter, then chances are that you will contact your ex. This realization could take a while, maybe a month or maybe even years later. Sometimes, people work on themselves for a while before going back to their exes, but in most cases, if they end the rebound relationship, they end up going back to their ex, no matter how long it takes.
Why Do Rebounds Make You Miss Your Ex More?
So I’ve established that rebounds make you miss your ex more, at least in most cases. Even though, as seen in the above stages, initially, it may not feel that way, later on, it definitely will. This is because the relationship is way too fresh.
You have probably not yet even fully processed the breakup, let alone dealt with the feelings that come with it. You have just gone from one relationship to the next without letting yourself feel the sadness or come to terms with that person not being in your life anymore.
You May Think You’re In Love But You’re Not
Another common reason rebounds end up making you miss your ex more is that sometimes, it’s just this idea in your head. This idea that this may be your lucky shot at love, so you go into the rebound thinking this person could be it, which puts a whole lot of pressure on that relationship.
We have an image in our heads of what we imagine a relationship to be and when it doesn’t turn out that way, we just end up missing the comfort that we had with our ex. The bad memories start to fade away and we are constantly reminded of the good ones, through little things like a song you may hear on the radio or passing by a place you two used to eat at.