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How To Get Your Ex To Talk To You (Fully Explained!)

Cut them off!

As counterintuitive as this may sound, you need to remove yourself from your ex’s life altogether. You should not only stop contacting them yourself but also shut all the windows into your life to arouse curiosity in your former partner.

Haven’t you heard the phrase hard to get? It doesn’t only apply in situations where you want someone to fall for you for the first time; it also works well when you want an ex to pay you attention a second time.

If you want your partner to want to talk to you, you need to come off as someone desirable and a bit hard to reach. How can you do that? Let me help you with that, but before I tell you all the hacks to become unreachable, let’s go over why your ex won’t talk to you.

Why Your Ex Stopped Talking To You?

There could be a number of reasons behind a former partner’s reluctance or disinterest in conversing with you, but generally, the most common of them all are the following two.

1. You were clingy

Nothing puts an ex off as desperation and neediness do. Can you judge your past actions fairly and assess if you were clingy? Perhaps you wouldn’t stop calling or texting them to tell them how you have changed and how you miss them fiercely.

If you were continually badgering your former partner to try and win them back, you have blown your chances of getting back together exponentially. A desperate ex is not much different from a creepy, crazy ex-lover who stalks the other party.

How do you expect your once-mate to miss you if you never leave them alone? For your ex to miss you, they need you out of their mind, and that won’t be possible if you keep contacting them.

2. They are being immature

This one is more common in younger couples, but that certainly doesn’t mean adult couples never do act childish. When someone doesn’t think rationally about why a relationship didn’t work or healthily process their emotions, they can act out immaturely, which entails cutting out the ex-partner abruptly.

If you didn’t do anything to drive your ex up the wall, but they still went cold turkey and blocked you out of their life, they are not taking the separation well. They want to show you that the breakup was your fault and it’s your loss more than theirs; hence, the brusque, cold shoulder.

Dealing with a self-indulgent ex is not easy, and it can certainly throw you off the deep end. But if you want to get back together, you need to act smartly rather than letting the opposite party’s silliness get the best of you. 

Now that you have an idea about why your ex won’t speak to you let’s go over the possible remedies to turn the situation around.

How to Rekindle Feelings in Your Ex?

If you want your ex to talk to you, you cannot be the initiator because that will only drift you both further apart. You need to act intelligently to stir up feelings in your former partner. Here’s how you can do that.

1. Become Unapproachable

If you want someone to notice your absence, you need to be absent long enough for the other person to feel it. And that is why you should disappear from the face of the world so that your ex is forced to think about you.

Don’t contact them, but if you have to reach out for some reason, perhaps you want your stuff back, send them a crisp and to the point email asking for your things back.

When they reply, don’t indulge in idle small talk because that would indicate an interest from your side, and you don’t want that. Your cold behavior will make your once-mate wonder if you’re not at all affected by the breakup. And that’s when they’ll try to find out more about your life post-breakup.

 Once their interest in your life is revived, you need to show them that you have never been better and that you have been doing some truly amazing things, such as learning a new skill.

2. Busy Yourself

The most effective way to become a desirable person is by being knowledgeable and skilled. Now that you have time on your hands, don’t waste it on pining over your ex; instead, do something productive. Read books on history or politics, learn a new skill, take up a new hobby or travel the world.

Make your personality as dynamic as it can be. That will make your former partner remorseful over losing you, they’ll feel a loss, and that’s precisely what you need them to feel.

3. Dress Your Best

If you were not much of a dresser before, you should try and change that. That said, you don’t have to start dressing extravagantly; don’t make it a pretentious affair.

Stick to your personality and wear clothes that speak to you but are more presentable than your sweats. And don’t fall prey to the mindset that.

Paying attention to your looks makes you shallow because it doesn’t.

4. Reflect On Yourself

If you want your former partner to speak to you, they need to find you desirable; someone worthy of their time. Use your time as a newly single individual in the best possible way by working on yourself.

Here are some tips to help you do that:

1. Go over things your partner didn’t like about you and see if you can change any of these.

Make a list of things your ex-mate didn’t like about you, and try to change those if they are genuinely off-putting.

You don’t need to change anything about yourself that is integral to your personality. Only work on improving those traits that can be hard to put up with for a partner.

2. Work on your aggravating habits

You can also consider changing some of your inconsequential habits that your ex found annoying, such as putting the cap back on over the toothpaste.

3. Change the things you don’t like about yourself.

List down things that you don’t like about yourself and make you doubt yourself.

Everyone has shortcomings, that’s okay, and you don’t need to be too embarrassed about them. But if some aspects of your personality or demeanor are unappealing to you, then you should try to eliminate them or accept them as they are.

Why is that important?

Because if you feel conscious about yourself or any of your qualities, you will never love/respect yourself enough, which is critical if you want to have healthy relationships.

When people don’t like certain elements of their personality, they begin to consider themselves inferior to their partner very early on in their relationship. If you don’t see yourself and your lover as equal partners, you cannot have a healthy, balanced relationship.

 Moreover, you’ll feel grateful to your bae for taking you as a companion and putting up with your shortcomings. This “I am damaged goods’ mentality gravely messes up a relationship’s dynamics.

If you think you have a tendency to put yourself down, you need to work on it. Either accept your flaws or fix them, but whatever you do, in the end, you need to come out victorious, as someone who respects themselves.

In a nutshell, become the best version of yourself but don’t do it just to win your ex back, do it because you want to. When you know you can be better, why shouldn’t you make that happen? Why settle for less? Work on yourself to become someone you love and respect wholeheartedly, and once that happens, trust me, you’ll be the center of attention of many, not just your ex-lover.

5. Be The Bigger Ignorer

If your former partner is acting stupidly and has blocked you out, you follow suit. Remove them from your life altogether. But at the same time, drop a comment here and there on a friend’s picture that your ex can see. This way, they’ll know you have accessed your social media handles but weren’t apparently bummed about the unfriending.

You can also surface on a mutual friend’s social media as the most charming individual on the planet, riling your ex up over your oh-so-happening life without them. This will indicate that you are still in touch with all the other friends but them and that you are not bothered by their actions or existence in the least.

6. Know When to Give Up

You cannot discount the possibility of your ex staying distant even after you have made all the necessary efforts. If that happens, and you find yourself wondering why your former partner hasn’t reached out to you after you made all the right moves, know that they are not interested and move on.

You should respect yourself enough to walk away from someone who doesn’t want you. But remember that someone’s indifference towards you doesn’t make you unlovable or dispensable. Tell yourself that you are walking away from your obtuse ex because you deserve to be with someone who can cherish you for who you are.

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