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Why is My Ex Ignoring Me When We Agreed to Be Friends?

What does it mean when your ex ignores you even though you both agreed to be friends after the breakup?

If you’re taken up with this thought, you’ll be glad to know there’s a plausible answer to it.

Reason why your ex is ignoring you:

The reason why your ex may not be talking to you is because they are still hurting over the breakup and continuing to talk to you may bring them back the pain of losing you as a lover. It may also be their way of healing and moving on. It can also be possible that your ex has found a new partner and no longer need you – even as a friend. Ouch!

Signs Your Ex Is Ignoring or Avoiding You

These signs are quite apparent. And you will easily be able to point them out if your ex ignores you. However, it’s still important to discuss them over here so that you can take a step back at the right time.

  • They have stopped calling you
  • They have stopped picking up your calls
  • They no longer text you or reply back to your text messages
  • They have blocked or unfriend you on social media
  • They avoid talking to you at parties, gatherings, etc.
  • They avoid making eye contact with you
  • They make excuses every time you plan to meet up with them

Breaking Down Why Your Ex Ignores You Despite Agreeing to Be Friends Forever

Being ignored feels worse than being rejected. It can make you feel as if you don’t matter at all. When your ex starts to ignore you, especially when you both mutually decided to remain friends after the breakup, it may feel like a betrayal.

1. Your Ex Still Loves and Cares for You

You may take “ignoring” as a bad sign. But that’s not always the case. Your ex is probably ignoring you because they still have feelings for you. By cutting off all contact with you, your ex is simply trying to move on.

The problem is that if they keep talking to you, they will miss (as their lover) you even more. So, to avoid being hung up on you, they are maintaining a distance from you.

2. Your Ex Is Trying to Make Your Heart Grow Fonder with their Absence

Absence does make the heart grow fonder. And your ex is trying to do the same by ignoring you. This kind of behavior is usually expected from exes who tend to be manipulative by nature and like to play mind games with others.

3. Your Ex No Longer Wants You in Their Life

No matter how bitter this may sound, but sometimes, exes are through with you and do not want to keep any kind of relationship with you. It’s usually because of the reason(s) you two fell apart – maybe you two outgrew each other, failed to keep each other happy, were dishonest with each other, etc. The lingering bitterness against you in your ex’s heart may stop them from staying in touch with you at all.

 It’s also likely that they have moved on and no longer care for you the way they used to.

4. Your Ex Is in Another Relationship

May be your ex is dating someone else or has found a new boyfriend/girlfriend. In either case, they wouldn’t want to stay in touch with you. Since they are in a new relationship, they would rather prefer to nourish it as well as respect their new partner. And therefore, they would choose to exclude you from their life.

5. They are Punishing You

If you broke up with your ex on bad terms, where you cursed them or spat some nasty words at them, then being ignored by your ex means being punished by them.

In this case, if your ex agreed that they will be good friends with you after the breakup, they probably were lying. They clearly didn’t tell you the whole truth in the first place.

Understanding Why It Matters to You That Your Ex Is Ignoring You After the “Said Agreement”

Be honest to yourself and discover why you are so bothered over the fact that your ex no longer pays heed to you after the breakup. Some reasons for it can be:

1. You Miss Talking to Your Ex

Despite all the reasons that may have led to the breakup, your ex can be a fun, loving person. You may also be missing their company since they are ignoring you, and this may be hurting you a lot.

2. You Fear You Will Lose Them Forever

You cherish and respect your ex as a person. You know they are irreplaceable and one of a kind. Now that your ex has cut all ties with you, you are worried that you will lose them forever.

3. You Miss Your Partner’s Attention

You miss the way your partner used to be there for you, loving you, listening to you, looking after you. But now that the dynamic has changed between you and your ex, you are unable to adjust to the new reality; and you want to get your ex’s attention back!

4. You Still Have Feelings for Your Ex

Soon (or much later) after the breakup, you realize that you still love your ex. And the fact that they are disconnected from you could be killing you inside. You may want them back in your life, and therefore, you’re hurt that they are not listening to you.

Ways of Dealing When Your Ex Ignores You Despite Agreeing to be Your Friend Post-Breakup

You are probably wondering what course of action to take if your ex is distancing themselves from you after the breakup. The first thing that may come to your mind – but why is he/she acting this way? He/she promised to remain good friends forever!

Once the initial shock of betrayal slides down, try dealing with the situation in any of the following ways:

1. Give Them Space

Dealing with a breakup is never easy, so give your ex some space. Don’t be too hard on them. Different people heal from a breakup in different ways. Some people get over it in a matter of days while others take more time – may be weeks or months – depending on how deeply they were involved with their ex.

It’s always best to give some alone time to your ex rather than pushing them into being your friends immediately after the breakup.

2. Don’t Bombard them with Calls and Text Messages

If your ex is not responding to your calls or text messages, let it be. Don’t obsess over the fact that they are ignoring you. And please, have some self-respect. You should be smart enough to read silences. If someone is ignoring you, then it clearly means they don’t want to keep any sort of relationship with you.

If your ex wants to rebuild any relationship with you, they will get in touch with you – sooner or later. In the meanwhile, you should simply enjoy your life.

3. Don’t Play the Blame Game

If your ex has shut you off from their life, don’t go on blaming them. You are in no position to do that. Surely, they agreed to be friends with you at the moment, but when the time came to commit, they realized they weren’t ready.  Whatever be the case, you shouldn’t be upset over it. Instead, respect their decision.

4. Make New Friends

Don’t stay hung up on your ex. If they have moved on, good for them. You should, too. Try making new friends or re-connect with old ones. Once you start doing that, you will no longer find the need to have your ex as your friend.

5. Involve Yourself in Other Activities

Keep yourself busy doing things you love – cooking, reading, shopping, gardening, etc. You can also work on your weaknesses or learn new skills that can help you advance in your career. Keeping yourself occupied in various activities will help take your mind off of your ex. So, do whatever you think can help your mind from lingering back on your ex!

The Most Important Thing to Remember…

Your ex is ignoring you, right?

Don’t consider it as a bad thing. Keep in mind that couples seldom go back to being friends after breaking up. You may have heard the famous saying – exes can’t be friends. Holding onto someone you used to love can be unhealthy and stops you from moving on with your life.

Therefore, if your ex is keeping a distance from you, it’s probably the best for both of you. In case your ex wants to be friends with you at some point, they will come back to you… till then, don’t chase them.

If you want to learn some smart ways to befriend your ex after the breakup, click here.

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