17 Worst Breakup Excuses Ever (And What They Actually Mean)
Being on the receiving end of a breakup is never pretty, but it is a thousand times worse if your partner is backing their action up with a pathetic excuse of an excuse.
You do not get your closure, and, even if you had seen the red flags from a thousand miles away, being dumped without a good enough reason is still painful and maddening, and confusing.
However, your partner might not see it that way, and they might think that they are being kind and merciful by not telling you the real reason for ending things. Other times, they actually mean what they say.
Regardless of intentions, partners wanting to end a relationship sometimes come up with ridiculous reasons, and this article will list some of those worst breakup excuses.
Worst Breakup Excuses That Make NO Sense:
1. It is not you; it is me
We hate to break it to you, but it is definitely you. No person in this world is selfless enough to voluntarily give up being with the person they love and care about, and if you think otherwise, there is a bridge over Brooklyn I would like to sell you.
Using this excuse is just another way of saying, “It is you, but I do not want to come across as the bad guy by telling you that to your face.” The truth is, if someone truly loves you, they will do everything in their power to be with you. So, why don’t we do humanity a favor and just put this obsolete line to bed, once and for all?
2. I am just not ready
Another go-to line for people looking to dump their partners without really dumping them. The only problem is that this excuse is just as crap as the one discussed above this. Partners who are fed this excuse prior to rejection, tend to keep orbiting around the other person, waiting for them to be ready.
Unfortunately, what they often find out is that their ex is now dating another person. As it turns out, they were not ready to be with you, because they did not love you (and/or love someone else).
3. I want to focus on my work/studies/career
Well, the truth is, sometimes people do have the kind of jobs or study-schedules that allow little time for dating.
But, many times, this excuse is just that – an excuse. It might mean that your partner is done with you, has feelings for a classmate or coworker, or just wants some peace during her work or studies (because you keep annoying and disturbing her). It is up to you to figure out when these words are genuine and when they are a mere copout.
4. I do not deserve you
Another version of the renowned, “it is not you; it is me,” this line typically follows some horrible action committed by your partner (cheating, most probably).
For example, in the legal drama, Suits, Rachel (Meghan Markle) tells her fiancé, Mike (Patrick Adams), that she does not deserve him before telling him that she kissed her ex-boyfriend. Although much of television is unrealistic, this bit, unfortunately, is embedded in truth.
The words, “I don’t deserve you,” usually come from a place of guilt, and if you do not want your broken heart to be shattered further, I suggest you do not probe the issue further.
5. It is just a temporary break
“Let us take a little break and see how we feel about each other after about a month.” The best way to dump a partner is by dangling a bit of hope in front of them. Not to mention that this excuse also keeps their options open, should they fail to find someone better or make things work with someone else.
Here is the thing: most times, there is no such thing as a break – you either are with someone or you are not. But this does not immediately dawn on the person being dumped; they think that their partner simply needs a bit of alone time to think things through before returning. The painful realization strikes only after a month turns into six months and then into a year, and they have not heard a thing from their (ex) partner.
6. I want to find myself
Another sign that your partner is unhappy in the relationship. This excuse is used by dumpers when they want to figure things out on their own, without their partner lurking around.
Put another way; your partner wants to step out and explore the world without you; see if they miss you or want back in, or if they end up with someone better.
7. Our interests are not aligned
If they instead said, “You bore the hell out of me,” it would mean precisely the same thing. Basically, the dumper is trying to say that this relationship fails to inspire, excite, or interest them, because the two of you have drifted apart. Sure, I will get mad if my partner was unappreciative of Sherlock, but still not enough to make me want to dump them.
On a serious note, this excuse makes little sense, because different people are bound to have different interests, and that should be adding flavor to the relationship instead of making it seem tasteless.
8. We need to check if we are destined for each other
Sometimes, a dumper will tell their partner that they do love them too much but that the two of them need to drift apart to see if they can end up together again.
So, you are telling fate that it needs to undo an entire assignment, only to redo it again – as if it does not have enough on its hands already.
9. I miss the chase
Meaning, your partner liked you better while they were still chasing you. They considered you a challenge, and now that they have successfully conquered it, there is nothing exciting left for them. What they do not realize is that if they keep living for the thrill of the chase, they will never be able to make a long-term relationship happen.
10. I do not want to get you a gift
In other words, I would rather lose you than lose my hard-earned $10 to get you a gift. To be honest, someone willing to break up with their partner because they do not want to gift them, are probably better off single.
11. You look too much like your brother/sister
So, it is bad enough that you are breaking up with a long-time partner, but indicating that this is the first time you have actually looked at them properly, is adding fuel to the fire. Better to just walk away without a reason at all.
12. I am getting married
Newsflash: not with you.
This is exactly what happened to 29-year-old Hannah. Clearly, her boyfriend was cheating, and when she called him out on it, he said that – wait for it – he had lost a bet to a female friend, and now, he had to marry her to honor the bet. As Hannah struggled to decide whether she was more angry, confused, or amused, her boyfriend walked out of the door.
13. We have incompatible zodiac signs
Exploring your zodiac sign with your partner is all fun and games until you read the astrological column that says that the two signs are not compatible. It turns even less funny when your partner decides to use this incompatibility as a reason to let you go. Dumping someone because “it is not written in the stars” is downright lame. I mean, this is 2021, not 700-BC Babylon.
14. We do not have enough fights (come again?)
Frequent fights in a relationship are obviously a bad thing, but for some partners, not fighting enough is not particularly good either. They think that not enough fights mean that the other person does not care enough about the relationship, or is not sufficiently vocal.
15. You have way too much money (come again, again?)
There are instances when a person has dumped their partner because they think that it is impossible for their partner to have the kind of money they have without doing something illegal. It hurts when your partner doubts you this way, especially when you have been working double-shifts at Dominoes to come up with that extra cash.
16. I love you too much (*fill the bracket yourself*)
“I love you too much, and if you leave me in the future, it will devastate me. So, I’d rather leave you right now”. Yeah, because it makes total sense to let an imaginary problem create a real one.
17. It is all your fault!
This is when your partner is done being nice and wants you to face their wrath before they break up with you. They take you through every mistake you have committed, from the time you left the dirty dishes on the ‘washed’ pile to the time you left the fridge door open and ruined all the food.
Your partner will likely conclude their tirade by telling you that they have had enough of you and they cannot do this anymore.
In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with wanting to end a relationship. However, if you do wish to leave, the least you can do is respect the other person and tell him or her the truth. Yes, it might rip the band-aid off, tear them apart and leave them wrecked.
But, in the long run, they will respect you for being upfront with them instead of leaving them wondering what happened or with a lame justification for your actions.