The Power of Silence After a Breakup (Explained for Beginners!)
The end of a relationship can be one of the biggest losses you may face in a lifetime. Whether you’re still pining for your ex or are trying to move on with your life, radio silence after your breakup can be one of the best tools to help you get what you’re looking for.
I completely understand if this comes off as paradoxical, but the power of silence after a breakup is unmatched in comparison to any other weapon at your disposal. There’s no denying that losing a relationship can bring about a gaping void in your life, leaving you hurt and broken. Yet, there’s nothing like radio silence to help you through this terrible heartache.
Is Silence Really the Best Revenge After a Breakup?
Allow me to lead you with an interesting quote, ‘Don’t ignore silence because it has a sound. When it starts speaking, it’s louder than a thousand volcanoes.’ Silence is often more powerful than words; it speaks without even saying anything.
If you decided to part ways with your ex, I’m sure that there must have been unsolved issues, differences, and misunderstandings between the two of you. Regardless of how great things were, endings are often bitter, and ending on a ‘good note‘ has its own set of reservations.
Being in a relationship means having a blindfold around your eyes. All you can see is what you want to see – the positive things about your relationship. However, opting for the no contact rule and observing radio silence gives you the opportunity to view things objectively.
The reality of the situation can help you gain perspective about whether you made the right decision or not. If yes, then it can guide you to where you need to go from there.
Implement The No Contact Rule
You’re probably familiar with the no contact rule. It’s only the most popular option that people choose after a breakup: snipping all contact with an ex, especially if you want to recover from heartbreak as quickly as possible. This technique allows you to process your feelings toward your ex and the relationship you shared.
It can also help you decide what future course of action you should take. While the no contact rule can last for years and maybe even a lifetime, the minimum time for it to remain in effect is at least 30 days.
So, where does the power of silence come into play, you ask? In order for the no contact rule to play out effectively, it is imperative that it is backed by the power of silence after a breakup.
This means that you don’t talk, meet, come face-to-face, or engage with your ex through any medium at all!
Why Is It Important To Maintain Silence After A Breakup?
Here is why following the no contact rule and maintaining silence after a breakup can help you achieve a positive result.
1. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Words don’t mean anything if they aren’t backed by actions. You shouldn’t be telling your ex that you’re over them; you should be showing it! Drunk dialing an ex just to tell them how you’ve moved on is counterproductive. Regardless of what you say, your actions imply that you actually care.
On the other hand, when you go radio silent and go off the radar, it shows your ex that you don’t care (even if you do!) about them. The silence after a breakup showcases your ability to handle a breakup well. So, prepare yourself to walk away right after the break up.
2. It Puts You in a Position of Power
Who doesn’t like being in a position of power, especially after a breakup?
If you continue talking to your ex immediately after the breakup, there can be two main reasons behind this. You either want them to know how distressed you are and how much you want to get back together or show how the breakup didn’t affect you. Whatever your reason may be, talking to your ex will make you appear weak and desperate.
Maintaining the no contact rule and observing complete silence will help convey your indifference more effectively. After a breakup, ignoring your ex-partner forces them into thinking about and wondering whether you cared about the relationship as much as they thought you did or if you’re as affected by it as them. The ‘not knowing‘ part makes them more curious while placing you in a position of power.
3. It Gives You Time to Reflect
It’s easier to find clarity after a breakup. However, talking to your ex even after a breakup can cloud your judgment, keeping you from seeing things the way they actually are. The power of silence after a breakup gives you the time to reflect on and accept the reality. It gives you the opportunity to free yourself from the thoughts of wanting to win over your ex.
When that happens, you will realize one of the two things – either your ex wasn’t the right person for you or that you will need to work on yourself to be able to make any relationship thrive.
4. It Makes Your Ex Curious
Silence can be compelling, especially when it comes without a forewarning after a breakup. Imagine someone talking to you for days and telling you their whole life story, only to avoid you right after without any warning. It makes you curious, doesn’t it? Similarly, completely abandoning all contact with your ex and observing radio silence will leave your ex more curious than ever!
Where are you?
What are you doing?
Why haven’t you tried to get in contact?
All these questions will run through your ex’s mind, forcing them to seek answers. Even if your ex was the one who decided to break up with you, your sudden absence will make them reassess everything. In simple words, cutting your ex off will push them to miss you, placing you in a position of power.
How to Use the Power of Silence After a Breakup?
As different as both the genders might be, one thing is for certain: silence can drive both men and women to become more curious and interested. Whether you are looking to snip all ties with your ex for good or are looking to get back together, you can’t underestimate the power of silence after a breakup in helping you achieve your goal.
To use the power of silence after a breakup to get the desired results, you need to be strong and consistent.
Here are a few steps to help you achieve your goal.
Step 1: Establish a No Contact Rule
A very small percentage of relationships end amicably with both parties mutually agree on the fact that things aren’t working out. However, most relationships end because one person decides to pull the plug due to various reasons. In such a case, the equation can definitely not remain the same!
If you and your ex mutually decided to end things for good, the no contact rule can help you move on with your life. On the other hand, if your ex dumped you, it’s natural to feel angry and hurt. You will get super angry and say things you don’t mean or you’ll beg and plead them to take you back, coming across as desperate and needy. Even if they do take you back, they won’t respect you, and neither will your relationship ever go back to being the same.
The power of silence and the No Contact Rule after a breakup is there to help save you from letting your emotions get the best of you. It gives you the time and opportunity to process things and deal with your pain. It will make you realize that you don’t need another person to fill the void in your life.
Step 2: Maintain Limited Contact and Communication
Once you are entirely certain that the No Contact Rule has served its purpose, you can proceed to resume contact with your ex. Remember that this contact should be extremely limited, meaning talking or texting only once in a while.
Otherwise, you risk falling back into your old patterns, feeling the need to talk to them all the time and sharing every tiny life detail. This will flush all the hard work you put into maintaining the no contact rule effectively. Moreover, if you start texting or calling your ex more than they call or text you, they may feel like you’re getting clingy or attached.
Step 3: Withdrawal after Positive Communication
If you have safely made it past the second step, you have finally reached a position where you can hold up a conversation with your ex without bringing up the post-breakup feelings. It would help if you now adopted the power of silence once again to establish positive communication. You’re probably wondering how you can do that.
Well, now that enough time has gone by, the negative feelings hoarded by both parties ought to have subsided. This is the perfect opportunity to build up positive and friendly feelings. During this time, make sure to alternate between communication and withdrawal.
The more frequently you talk to your ex, the higher the chances of old problems springing up. However, withdrawing communication from time to time after a positive endnote can be a great way to keep things positive and under control.
The power of silence after a breakup can help you achieve lots of things. Once you have successfully applied it to your ex, you may be wondering about what comes next.
The answer to this question majorly depends on what you want. Once you complete the last step of using the power of silence after a breakup, the chances of your ex wanting to get back together are really high.
When implemented strategically, your absence and presence is guaranteed to make your ex see you in a new light. If you started using the no contact rule to win your ex over, this would be the ideal time to do that.
Also, oftentimes people set out with the goal to patch things up by using the no contact rule, but it makes them realize that the better option is to move on. Either way, like knowledge, silence is also powerful!