So you probably had a great first date, and you are curious to find out more about how to get things moving.
One of the most common questions that people often come up with is how long they should wait between the first and second dates. If you also have the same question, then here is a quick piece of advice:
How Long Between First and Second Date
The first few dates should be close together preferably within two weeks. The less the time between your first and second date (and the following dates), the better it is for your relationship.
The Dreaded First Date
First dates can be tricky (and challenging).
You are often tense – because you are the performer and you have got an audience!
You are worried – It may go so bad, they may never want to see you again!
But things went better than expected. Your first date was terrific, and you are over the moon now and wonder if you are just imagining it or is the reality?
Congratulations, your dreaded first date went well, and you are good to go.
Now let’s take a look at what the rule is?
People love to make rules.
And others follow and stick to these rules.
When it comes to how long you should wait between your first and second date, you can find tons of rules.
- You shouldn’t wait for more than two weeks,
- If your first date was at the start of the week and things went well, go for a second date over the weekend
And the list goes on and on.
But before I get down to my rule for your second date, here is what you should know.
Second Date is More Important Than The First
First dates are often a lot about emotions (excitement and nervousness) and getting comfortable with each other. It is also a lot more stressful. But your second date is more about getting to know your date and planning whether you want to take things forward with them.
Your second date may not need a lot of preparation (like what to wear and how to look), but it still needs a lot of planning and thought. You need to think through the situation and how to go about it because your second date is slightly more important than your first one!
Forget the Rules
If you ask me about the rule of “how long between first and second date,” I would rather say:
Forget the Rules!
Just remember, if your first date went well, plan all subsequent dates close together. Keep the momentum going, and don’t let your date unnecessarily wait for you. Remember, all nice things are scarce, and if you don’t approach your date again well in time, they may look for other options. Who knows?
Well, that doesn’t mean you have to do it right at the end of your first date or right after you drop them home.
You can give yourself (and them) some time. Maybe, you can initiate the process once you return home (drop a text message) or wait for a day or two before you call them and express your desire to be with them again. I will share more ideas about how to ask for a second date in the next section.
Just remember that there are no rules, and days are just a number. All you need to do is ensure that your first two dates are closely spaced and are not weeks or months apart.
It is essential to know:
“What happens if you wait too long between the first and second date?”
Remember that dating is all about momentum. When you meet someone and get excited about them (and they reciprocates), the excitement can soon subside if you don’t meet each other again.
And the longer the gap between your first and second date, the lesser will be momentum and, of course, excitement. Eventually, there will be lesser chances of things working on your side.
What if You Are Dating Someone You Already Know?
Even if you are dating someone who you already know (a colleague at work, a friend at school or a family friend), it is still a good idea to plan your first two dates closer together.
As I said, dating is all about momentum, which is critical if you are looking forward to a relationship.
Dating Someone You Met Online
Planning your dates closer together becomes even more critical when you are dating someone you met online. When you are dating someone who you know already, the chances are that you know about their work or school commitments and general schedules.
But when you are dating a stranger, you need to put in the effort to get to know more about them. So it is best to avoid all unnecessary delays.
What if Longer Time between the First and Second Date is Inevitable?
Sometimes, the schedule does not permit and waiting is the only possible option left. If that is your case, don’t let the long time between your dates to discourage you from going out with them again.
But keep in mind that it is not the ideal plan.
How to Ask for the Second Date?
Now comes the second part.
Your first date is over, and you need to contact them again.
Asking for a second date does not have to be awkward and out of nowhere. Instead, it is a gradual process that usually starts right with your first date. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to ask for your second date.
1. Set the Stage Right After Your First Date
Want your second date sooner but don’t want to sound too desperate and awkward?
I suggest you set the stage right after your first date.
But that does not mean you need to ask for it right at the end of your first date. Instead, show subtle signs of interest.
Why Not Ask Them Right Away?
Asking them right away is not something I recommend. It is best to give them some time to think through the situation and process it as a whole. Sometimes, you may feel it was a great date, but they may think otherwise.
Moreover, when you are so pushy, they may want to say no but end up saying yes, (and vice versa), which will make your second date even more uncomfortable than your first one, or it may never take place.
So What Should You Do?
Like I said, show subtle signs of interest without sounding too desperate. Moreover, you can also share how you would communicate with them.
Here are some ideas:
Drop a message when you get home after your first date. “Hey, I just got home. It was a lot of fun. Maybe we can do it sometime again soon.”
If you are dropping them back home, compliment them and show signs that you want to continue, “It was great to be with you. I would love to meet you again soon. I will give you a call sometime tomorrow.”
You don’t have to say all this exactly, but something along the same lines will get your message across without being too overwhelming.
- Please don’t call them up as soon as you get home.
- Please don’t call them up the first thing as soon as you wake up the next morning.
- Don’t send them text messages all day.
After all, you don’t have to sound too desperate and push them into something they do not want.
Here is What You Can do Instead
- Give them a call at their preferred time of the day just to check on them. (It does not have to be a long one).
- A text message asking about their day once every few days.
Give them space, but set the stage for your second date right from the end of your first date.
2. Start with Self-Reflection
While it is best to give them time to think through and process the situation, you need to reflect as well.
Think about your first date and what you feel about it. Reflect on how it went? What you did that impressed them? And what were some of the things you don’t want to repeat on your second date?
A little self-reflection on your end should be a part of your planning for the second date.
You wouldn’t want to repeat the embarrassing moments again, right?
3. Start Planning for the Second Date
Everything I have covered so far is pointing towards setting the stage for your second date.
So start planning for your second date.
When do you want to schedule it? Over the weekend night or Saturday evening? Do you want to schedule it during the week because you have work commitments over the weekend or otherwise?
Where do you want it? At a restaurant? Beach? Park? Movie night? There are endless options.
Golden Rules for Asking for a Second Date
- Be Confident
- Keep the Conversation Brief
- Resort to a Sense of Humor
- Flaunt About Your Excitement
- Check Your Date’s Schedule
- Avoid Unnecessary Delays
- Listen to Them
I suggest you don’t ask them right at the end of your first date, but you can still text them and ask for a second date in a day or two. But it is better if you do it over the phone. Give them a call at their preferred time when they are free and relaxed.
No matter how you intend to communicate with them, just remember these seven golden rules.
1. Be Confident
If you really want to meet them again, show your confidence. You don’t have to shy away. Instead, rely on your confidence and say something along the lines, “I would really want to meet you again.”
2. Keep the Conversation Brief
You don’t have to tell them the entire story from the end of your first date till now. Keep the conversation brief and to the point. And if you are not sure what to say, try resort to rule # 3.
3. Resort to a Sense of Humor
You are wondering how to ask for your second date. Rely on humor! Heartily laughter is a great way to win over a partner. You can try playfully teasing them. Or come up with something funny to cheer them up.
As a rule,
The happier they are, the higher the chances that they would say yes to your second call.
4. Flaunt About Your Excitement
Are you one of those reserved types who think, “I shouldn’t share my excitement or else I will seem too desperate?” Then, you need to rethink your strategy.
Well, if you had an amazing first date, let them know about it.
You can share your thoughts right at the end of your first date, but in case you missed it, don’t shy away from sharing your excitement over text or call.
But like everything else, don’t overdo it.
5. Check Your Date’s Schedule
And while you are planning for your second date, don’t forget to check their schedule. It’s their date as well.
Here are a few text messages you can send.
“Hey XXX. I was wondering if we can meet again sometime soon. What are your plans over the weekend?”
“Last weekend was a blast. Shouldn’t we do it again soon? Any free evenings next week?
6. Avoid Unnecessary Delays
As I have repeated several times, dating is about gaining momentum with your newly found relationship, so avoid unnecessary delays.
Instead of waiting for an entire week before getting back in touch with them, try contacting them sooner. And not just stop after giving them a call or sending a text. Plan your second date sooner.
7. Listen to Them
When you give them a call to ask for a second date, you don’t have to be the one who does all the talking. Let them talk. Let them express how they felt after the first date. If it was great for them, chances are they will say yes to your call for a second date.
But what if they say no?
In that case, you don’t have to lose all hope and think that it is the end of your relationship. You can still ask them why they don’t want to date you. And you can also give them some more time to think and get back to them in a few days (only with their consent, of course!)
And if it is a sure-sure no, life is short. Try looking for alternatives.
Is it OK For the Girl to Ask for a Second Date?
Here is a quick question that I often get from guys.
Is it ok for a girl to ask for a second date?
Well, that’s a great idea. In fact, most men prefer it when the girl asks them out. Obviously, that’s a sign that she is interested and wants to find out more about you. So if she asks for a second date and you are already up for it, why waste time?
Make the most of this opportunity.
What if Your First Date Didn’t Go Well?
Dating can be tricky. So by the end of the first date, when you think everything went exceptionally well. But as soon as you get home and the emotions subside, you realize that it was not what you initially thought and maybe, this is not the right person for you.
In that case, it is best to move on faster. But still, in all decency, you must tell them that you don’t want to continue things. They deserve to know even if you think you don’t owe them an explanation. And rather than letting them wait, an adult approach would be to share your thoughts with them. At least that’s what I think, but you may think otherwise.
And you are the lucky one with all set for your second date.
All the best!
Try out these resources to make them feel you’re the only one!
|Helpful Resources||Learn More|
|The Obsession Method [For Men]||Learn more|
|Infatuation Scripts [For Women]||Learn more|