One could argue that the second date is even more important than the first one. Sure, you did well to create a good impression on your first date, but now is the time to move from mere impressions to stable connections.
The good news is that you have also gone through and conquered the awkwardness associated with first dates, so you can now focus on developing chemistry and compatibility.
If you are thinking about a second date, it is clear that you are attracted to her. To help you with a successful second (and third and fourth…) date, I have some second date tips that I would be sharing in this article.
Here we go:
12 Second Date Tips for Guys
1. Come up with a different idea
To keep things interesting and exciting, make sure that your second date is different from the first. So, for instance, if you went out for dinner the first time, maybe it is time for a walk through the woods?
A movie date is not a bad idea either, though it might not allow you two to chat as much or as openly as you would like. Whatever you come up with, the key to reigniting the charm of a first date lies in coming up with a unique recipe for your second one.
Of course, it is important to plan something that is also aligned with her interests, so, hopefully, your first date helped you get a fair bit of idea about her likes and dislikes. You could even plan multiple venues – a movie followed by a walk, for example.
2. Flirt a little
It is understandable if you found yourself holding back on your first date. But, as I mentioned, you have passed the awkwardness test with flying colors, so maybe it is time to shift the gears a bit. You could throw in a couple of flirtatious glances or subtle remarks. A bit of physical contact – such as touching their arm – is also not going to hurt.
However, remember that, even though she likes you, she might still not be entirely comfortable around you, so make sure to be respectful and read her body language correctly.
3. Ask the right questions
What you discuss on your second date goes a long way in determining how deep your relationship will be. Ask questions of substance that allow your date to open up without making her feel exposed or vulnerable.
You could always start with some small talk about hobbies or favorite shows, but do not forget to up the ante a bit. Here are some interesting questions that you could ask:
- What scares you the most?
- What advice would you give to your eight-year-old self?
- What made you agree to go on a second date with me?
However, keep in mind that what you ask is important, but how you ask is essential. Your date should not think that you are just questioning her for the sake of keeping the awkwardness or boredom at bay. You should be genuinely interested in picking the mind of someone who could one day become your life partner.
4. Do away with time limits
If she has agreed to a second date, it means that she likes you, and, more importantly, wants to learn more about you – something which might not be possible if you put a clock to your date. The last thing you would want is to bring a flowing conversation to an abrupt stop just because ‘time’s up.’
Moreover, when you go out on your date without worrying about the clock, you make your partner feel valued and important. Throw time limits out of the playbook and give yourself the best opportunity to make this all-important second date count.
5. Feel and appear confident
You would never have gotten a second date had you not left a positive impression on her during the first one – and you must remember this. Instead of feeling insecure about and second-guessing yourself, just be assured that she has agreed to go out with you again because she enjoys spending time with you.
However, confident does NOT equate to cocky, and mistaking one for the other could be a fatal mistake. Like we previously mentioned, it is essential to respect the other person’s boundaries and not look to get too cozy too quickly.
6. Size them up
Building up from my previous point, a second date is not the time to question whether you are good enough for her but seeing exactly how good she is. Even though she might open up a bit more than they did on the first date, do not expect her to show all her colors. However, by the end of your second date, you will have a fair idea about whether she is good enough for a third date or not.
7. Bring up your first date
Broaching topics from your first date will show your date that you are a good listener and that you pay attention when she is talking. You could ask how her job interview went or talk about that sci-fi book she was reading the first time you went out.
The beauty of a second date is that it comes after the first date. What this means is that you already have an ocean of information you can dive right in and take your pick of innumerable underground treasures. By bringing up talking points from your previous date, you can establish a firm connection founded on mutual respect and interests.
8. Offer to pay
Everyone has different opinions about who should pay on a date. Some women think that it is the man’s job to reach for his wallet. Others feel that the person who planned the date should also be the one paying. Regardless of what you think, offering to pay reflects your courtesy and good manners and is certainly a gesture that will get you bonus marks from your date.
9. Do NOT bring up your ex
I understand that sometimes it just comes up, and you cannot help it. However, you do not need to spend 3/4th of your date dwelling on your past love interests.
So, for instance, if your date asks you, “How long ago was your last relationship?”, just respond to her questions and move on. Do not spend more than a few seconds on the subject, and remember to not speak ill of your ex-partner. You are out on a date to build a promising present and future, and it is crucial to not let the past get in the way.
10. Give her a genuine compliment
If you think that your date looks hot or pretty, let her know. You might be a bit apprehensive about voicing your thoughts, but rest assured that nobody minds a compliment – as long as it is genuine.
Also, do not be one-dimensional with your compliments. For instance, if your first compliment was about her attire or hair, the next one could be about her wit or sense of humor. The only thing people like more than being appreciated is being appreciated for multiple things.
11. What about s*x?
It is perhaps not the best idea to have s*x after the second date. Of course, it largely depends on how you and your date perceive s*x. Some women do not mind it early in the relationship, but others like to take things slow and steady. Even if you belong to the former group, you have to make sure that she is on the same page as you. If she isn’t or even if you are unsure, it is best not to take the initiative on just your second date.
12. Plan the third date
As I mentioned previously, the second date will give you a fair idea about where you stand in this budding relationship and whether you want to pursue this. If you find yourself genuinely interested in moving things forward, do NOT conclude your second date with an uncertain, “This was really good; let’s do it again sometime.”
Before you leave, make a concrete plan for your third date. Mention that new Chinese restaurant that you had always wanted to visit or ask your date to suggest a venue of her choice. Also, fix a specific day within the next week or two (you do not want to let too much time pass between the second and third dates). Although you will likely remember the date, mark your calendar to be on the safe side.
13. Remember to have fun!
I think the second date is more enjoyable because of the greater comfort and lower anticipation. You do not have to worry about her finding you boring or things just not going smoothly; you already know that you click with this person. So, step out, be confident, and enjoy yourself without worrying too much about where this will lead.