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Does My Ex Want Me Back Or Just Wants To Be Friends?

If your ex seems a little too interested in your wellbeing, then perhaps they are not over you and wish to get back together, despite all their propositions to stay friends after the breakup.

But how do you puzzle out if your former partner’s newfound interest in you is a bit much? Well, that’s where I step in and help you solve the curious case of a confusing ex.

They Are Still Very Much Into You

The first thing you need to do to figure out if your ex wants you back is to study the signs they have been putting out. But I am not going to lie, doing that is not going to be easy because, at times, ex-lovers can get exceedingly confusing with their cues; one minute they will be warm and welcoming while the next they will get distant and cold, leaving you at a loss.

However, there are hints that you can pick up on between the lines and figure out what your ex truly wants. Here is a list of common indicators of a former mate who wants to win you back.

1. Every Corner You Turn, And There They Are

You are doing groceries, and who you bump into in the cereal aisle? Your ex. You are at the library, and there they are, looking smart as ever.

Long story short, you keep running into your once-mate at every other corner, and you are beginning to wonder if it’s all an actual coincidence or a carefully crafted one? I’d say it’s the latter and decidedly so!

Nobody can happen to be in the same place as you every time; it’s not possible. Only someone familiar with your routine and knows your go-to stops can appear in all the places you will be. And typically, that certain someone is an ex because they know all about your favorite/preferred spots.

If you are meeting your former partner frequently, you have got to know that they are doing so on purpose. I’d bet money on it. Why? Because usually, former partners avoid one another like the plague, and even if they decide to stay friends, they still try to keep their meetings to a minimum.

 And if that’s not happening with you and your ex, someone between the two of you is hell-bent on turning the breakup around.

2. They Are Overdoing The ‘I Have Moved On’ Bit

Moving on is typically the next step after a breakup, and it most definitely should be, but that doesn’t make it newsworthy to be broadcasted on every social media forum. When exes do that, overdo the ‘I am happy than ever before’ part; they want the other party to get riled up.

If your ex is overselling their very natural and expected next phase by publicizing their oh-so-happening life in every way possible, they are probably trying to stir up some feelings in you.

How to figure out if your former lover is playing up their life post-breakup to get a reaction out of you? Here are some ideas that might give you a hint.

Clues on Social Media

  • They have become the biggest party animal in town. Almost every post they put up on social media is them having the time of their life at a club or bar.
  • They have become the life of every party, especially if they weren’t the partying kind in the past.
  • They post philosophical quotes and soliloquies describing how they have gained inner peace and are at their best.
  • They share their vehement views on how finding oneself after losing an awfully toxic partner is vital for growth and prosperity in life.

 Clues in Real Life

  • They can’t stop gushing about this new person they are seeing every time they meet you.
  • They talk about all the fun things they have been doing lately nonstop.
  • They are always inviting you to the most rad parties in town.
  • They want you to know how charming and fun-to-be-around they have become.

In a nutshell, if you start to feel your once-significant other is constantly trying to rub their unbelievably fulfilling happy life in your face, you should know they are fishing for a reaction from your side.

3. They Are Apparently Your Biggest Fan And Well-Wisher Now

When a person wants to evoke feelings in you, they try to come off as the most considerate human on the planet whose only concern is your wellbeing.

If your ex-lover always seems concerned about ‘how you have been doing lately,’ they want you to see that they care about you. You might also find them praising you to no end and telling you how you deserve every good thing life offers you. And above all, they want you to be happy.

All this sudden involvement in a former partner’s life is outstandingly hilarious if you ask me because when was this attentiveness and care when you were together? And even if it was present, it certainly went away for things to have gone south in the first place.

Don’t fall for an ex’s profound regard for your wellness unless you want to get back together.

If the ‘does my ex want me back’ signs I have mentioned do not ring a bell for you, then perhaps your once-companion wants to be just friends.

They Want To Stay Friendly

Staying friends is an excellent way to get closure and rinse your life clean from any residual negativity from a past relationship, but it’s easier said than done. Being buddy-buddy with someone you were romantically involved with is a lot harder than most people realize. Nonetheless, it’s doable. And if that’s what your ex wants, they’ll communicate that via the following signs.

1. They Categorically Said To Remain Friends

This is a tricky cue to decipher because many times, exes express an interest in being friends when, in reality, they don’t want that. So, how do you know what your ex wants? Here’s how

When an ex says they want you two to stay friends, they certainly do not mean (or hope) that you and them become BFFs. What they mean is for you two to remain civil during chance encounters or at common get-togethers; they don’t want you or them to have to change circles and look for new friends. But at the same time, they don’t want to actively make plans to hang out with you, at least not in the early days of your post-breakup life.

Simply put, if your ex-partner greets you respectfully at meetups, random or planned, inquires about your life a bit (without getting too specific), and doesn’t talk about their fascinating life (now that you are out of the picture), they are most likely serious about staying friends or rather acquaintances.

2. They Are Not Getting Too Friendly Or Too Aloof

When exes are friends, their relationship typically rides a linear path, without sharp turns. They will chat about common topics, won’t get too involved in conversations but also won’t actively avoid conversing with one another.

In sum, former partners who wish to stay friends don’t become best buddies, nor do they act like total strangers. If your ex is trying to steer your relationship in any of the two dangerous territories, they might want to be more than friends.

3. They don’t discuss their current partner too much or not at all.

If your ex has moved on and they are not rubbing it in your face every chance they get, nor are they trying to hide the fact that they are dating again, then they have most likely friend-zoned you.

To keep things breezy and uncomplicated, take everything at face value and make sure you are well within the casual territory of friendship where no conversations or efforts by either party are over the top.

But… Is It A Good Idea To Stay Friends With An Ex?

Yes, but only if you can remain friends without getting caught up in every encounter you have, which is anything but easy.

The concept of former partners being buddies is often complicated needlessly; people begin to read too much into every interaction with their ex and try to give it a different meaning than what it really is. That generally happens because being friends with a former lover is not easy, especially if any one of the two still has romantic feelings for the other person.

If you find yourself thinking too much about your ‘friendship’ with the ex, then the chances are you want more than just a convivial relationship with them. Maybe it’s time for you to move on and sever all ties with your once-lover.

 Likewise, if you think there is a deeper meaning behind everything your ex does or says, then perhaps they haven’t moved on and wish to get back with you. And if you don’t want that, you need to be direct with them and convey your intentions straightaway.

Accepting An Ex With Someone Else Or Just The Possibility Of That Is Hard

Once you have been intimately involved with someone, the idea of seeing them with another person is not going to sit well with you, even after you have ended the relationship. And that’s not something to be ashamed of; it’s completely natural. Almost everyone struggles with accepting an ex with a new partner.

But if you think you are strong enough to defy the most primal human responses, then you can try to be friends with an ex but be sure they are also on the same page as you. 

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