Is it Okay to Date Someone from Another Country (5 Myths)
As the world continues to become a global village, an increasing number of people from different parts of the world are interacting and even falling in love.
A relationship between people living in different countries or states is referred to as a long-distance relationship.
The question of whether it is okay to date someone from another country or not is largely dependent upon the two people involved and their desire to make things work. Truth be told, there are a lot of advantages to a long-distance relationship, peppered by a few drawbacks.
Let’s get right to them!
Pros of Dating Someone from Another Country:
1. More opportunities to travel
Being in a long-distance relationship means a lot of overseas traveling to see your partner. You can decide beforehand about the best destinations or the most delicious cuisines in your respective countries.
These frequent trips will give you a chance to know the person you wish to spend your life with, while also satiating your appetite for travel.
So, if you are a travel freak, dating someone from another country is certainly an exciting prospect.
2. Allows you to learn about a new culture:
Seeing someone beyond your borders is a chance to familiarize yourself with an entirely different culture and way of life. You will get to know about their:
- Festivals
- Attires
- Societal norms
- Among other things!
Interacting with people with a different culture and way of life allows you to put your own into perspective and gain a profound understanding of diversity.
3. Improves your communication skills:
Unsurprisingly, long-distance relationships comprise primarily of talking.
This means that you will soon exhaust the easier topics, and, will have to explore more interesting things to talk about.
This exploration, be it through the internet, books, or TV shows, will allow you to learn new things, making you a more effective communicator both within and outside your love life.
4. Chance to learn a new language:
It is likely that your first language will be different from your partner’s. Learning their language will not only help you streamline conversation, but also add a crucial skill in the bag.
Normally, learning and mastering a foreign language might prove to be a tedious and time-consuming task. However, in this particular case, you will be fueled by the extra motivation to interact with your partner.
Bonus: You can also encourage your partner to learn your native language, and both of you can laugh at each other’s accents.
5. Compels you to be more creative:
Since sex is not always an option, a long-distance relationship forces you to be creative and interesting.
Like I previously mentioned, talking makes up the bulk of long-distance dating, so you can talk about any and everything to keep things fresh and exciting. The topics could range from ‘how many partners you have had until now?’ to ‘who is your favorite TV show character (and why it isn’t Sherlock)?’.
All in all, you will have to engage that frontal cortex more often and intensely, and this increased creativity will have an overall positive impact on your personality.
6. Some people find it easier to converse on text:
Now, not everyone has the speaking powers of Steve Jobs. If you are one of those people who find themselves flustering while talking about sensitive topics, you might actually prefer textual conversations with a face-to-face chucked in every now and then.
This does not mean that you do not love seeing your partner, but sometimes, it just feels better to be able to take time to formulate your thoughts, and blush with nobody there to notice it.
Cons of Dating Someone from Another Country:
1. Infrequent physical interactions:
The visits only happen once or a few times a year and can only last for a certain amount of time. It is possible that not seeing your partner frequently can weaken your connection with them.
This a particularly significant problem for people who crave physical contact. If you are someone who desires intimacy, a long-distance relationship might feel difficult and even create distractions. These distractions often lead to acts of infidelity.
2. Sexual frustration:
The frequency of sex will often be a determinant of your relationship’s success.
If you and your partner are not sexually active or have not experienced sex yet, a long-distance relationship might just work fine.
However, if you guys belong to the group who thinks that sex binds a couple together (no pun intended), then a lack of sexual activity might prove to be frustrating.
Again, such sexual frustrations can instigate desires to cheat.
3. Absence on special occasions:
Dating beyond your country will mean that you will not always be able to attend each other’s birthdays or other celebrations.
So, if you do decide to go for a long-distance relationship, be aware that you will have to celebrate certain milestones in your life without the physical presence of your partner.
4. Anxiety and overthinking:
Every time you text or call your partner and they fail to respond, there will be an uneasy feeling at the back of your mind.
Questions like ‘Where is she?’ or ‘Why won’t he answer?’ are inevitably going to pop up.
These thoughts often evolve into chronic insecurity, forcing you to start doubting your partner’s actions – often, as it turns out, without any reason. But you only realize your partner’s honesty after you have damaged your partnership, sometimes beyond repair.
5. Long Distance Relationships can be financially demanding:
Overseas trips do not come cheap. They might be manageable if your long-distance relationship is a matter of a few weeks or months but could well be unsustainable over a period of several years or more.
Myths About Dating Someone From Another Country:
1. Such a relationship never works out:
All you need to bust this myth is to look around you. I am sure you have had friends or colleagues that successfully made a long-distance relationship work.
Many couples are separated during wars, often left with little or no communication. However, the love they have for each other keeps them going.
In today’s tech-loaded world, making a long-distance relationship work is easier than ever.
2. You will struggle to stay faithful:
Whether you stay faithful or not does not depends on the type of relationship you are in. If you are committed and want to make it work, you should have no problem resisting the temptations around you.
3. You need to talk to your partner everyday:
Now, make no mistake, you probably want to talk to your partner every day, perhaps even every waking second.
However, you do not necessarily need to do that. Every relationship is based on trust and security, but these have an even more prominent part to play in long distance relationships. The key is to have faith that your partner loves you, and that this will not change even if you are unable to talk daily.
4. You cannot have tough conversations in a Long Distance Relationship
If you cannot bring up difficult conversations in your relationship, or if you need to be face-to-face with your partner before you can, then you do not have a particularly strong relationship.
You have to make peace with the fact that you will not be physically seeing much of each other, but that should not stop you from opening up to them. Long distance or not, any healthy relationship requires openness and transparency, instead of the opposite.
5. Everything will be perfect once the two of you are physically together:
It might seem that way, but it likely won’t be the case. If anything, there are more chances of the opposite being true.
The truth is that the entire dynamic of your relationship will change once you guys do not have thousands of miles separating you. You will have to learn to adjust to this change as you continue to learn more about each other and, in fact, about your own self.
Hence, you need to keep your expectations in check, and understand that closing the distance is not the silver bullet for all your relationship issues.
How to Prepare for Your First Meeting with a Long-Distance Partner?
Finally, that long and unbearable wait is about to conclude. You are feeling the electric buzz of nervous energy, and a thousand questions and scenarios are popping up into your head right now:
Am I wearing the right kind of clothes?
Will he/she like me as much in person?
How will we celebrate our first night together?
There is a lot going through your mind, and we thought we would help you out by compiling certain tips about meeting your international partner for the first time.
1. Use your head instead of your heart:
I agree that this might sound like a strange thing to say but stay with me.
It is likely that you feel you know everything about your long-distance partner but that is highly unlikely.
If there is even the slightest chance that someone might not be who they say they are (and there is always such a chance), it is better to err on the side of caution.
Before meeting your partner in person, reach out to their family and close friends to know more about who they really are. It is better to let your partner know that you are doing this, and, if they are squeaky clean, they will understand (they might also be doing the same thing).
2. Open up about your concerns:
It is natural to fear that your connection and chemistry over WhatsApp might not spill over onto your real lives.
Like we said, it is okay if you feel that way, and you should discuss this concern with your partner. Also make them feel comfortable enough to discuss their concerns, which might be different to yours.
You need to be practical and realistic about your first meeting, but that does not mean that you have to lose that excitement and ignore the butterflies in your stomach.
3. Set your boundaries:
Again, speaking up about your boundaries may make you uncomfortable, but it is important to get it out right at the start – the more you delay, the harder it will be when you eventually have to do it.
For instance, if you do not prefer having sex on your very first meeting, let your partner know in advance. It is possible that you are:
- Worn out.
- Jetlagged.
- Just want to know more about you before taking the next big step.
There is no relationship without love, and there is no love without respect. So, if your partner respects you, they will also respect your boundaries and understand your reasons behind putting those up.
4. Make plans about what you would like to do together:
Now, away from the pragmatic tips, and on to the more exciting ones.
You are meeting your partner for the first time, and this is your chance to materialize all the beautiful, elaborate plans that you have been making over the past few months or years.
Look up all the fun things that you can do together. These experiences will have a very special place in your heart, so make sure to not miss out on anything.
Discussing your plans will also break the ice, which is especially useful if at least one of you is a bit shy and socially awkward.
5. Prepare for your long journey:
Traveling to another country often means a long flight or drive, so you need to plan accordingly.
Carry stuff that you will need to keep yourself entertained, such as:
- iPads and other electronics.
- Headphones.
- A couple of Agatha Christie novels.
Also, since you will be traveling alone, you will not have someone to share your feelings with. Hence, it is not a bad idea to keep a notebook with you and give words to your excitements and fears.