How to Initiate Contact After No-Contact Period? (Helpful Tips!)

Your heart is pumping in your chest as you realize that today is the final day of the no-contact period. You can finally get back in touch with your ex in the quest to win them back.

You feel that you have grown during the no-contact phase, and are now ready to communicate with your ex. But are you really ready?

Ask yourself the following questions to be sure:

  1. Do you want to communicate with your ex because you are ready or simply desperate to have them back?
  2. Do you think that you might end up waiting too long and miss your chance to get back with your ex?
  3. Do you feel that you just have to tell your ex that you have grown as a person?

If the answer to the above questions was ‘No’, we can say that you are truly ready to initiate contact.

Ways to Initiate Contact With Your Ex:

Of course, there are several methods to contact your ex again.

However, nothing beats the good old text…

1. The ‘Excuse’ scheme

As you must have guessed, this method involves using some sort of ‘excuse’ to get in touch with them.

For instance:

‘Hey, Sara. I am trying to remember the location of that coffee bar we visited, but I just cannot seem to remember it. Can you please help me out with it? Thank you.’

This tactic is basically a ‘tester’ to see if and how your ex will respond to you.

2. The ‘Advice’ scheme

Was your ex a technology buff or a tennis pro? You will have to remember what they were great at, as you will suddenly ‘need their ‘advice’ in that specific department.

So, the text you will send will look something like:

‘Hey. Extremely sorry to bother you but I remember how good you are at technology and I was hoping that maybe you could help me out a bit.

I have a friend who wants to turn to software development and is looking for a bit of advice from an expert – only if you are fine with it, of course. Thanks in advance.’

The advice tactic is so effective because it speaks to your ex’s ego.

People love to flaunt, whether they admit it or not.

3. The ‘Friendship’ scheme

This tactic is you letting your ex know that you are ready to bury the hatchet.

You are basically showing that you do not want to spend your life hating someone, so you are open to the idea of you and your ex becoming friends.

So, a text message extending the warm hand of friendship will go something like:

‘Hi. Ever since we broke up, I have spent a lot of time in self-reflection.

Doing so has made me realize that, although we did have our disagreements and fights, we really enjoyed each other’s company and have spent a lot of good times together.

So, I was wondering if you would like us to be friends? Nothing good ever comes out of hatred or resentment.

Take your time to think about it.’

When you ask your ex to be friends, you are tempting them to lower their guard.

This is way better than straight-up confessing that you want to get back into a relationship with them, as such an admission might force your ex to bottle up and push you away.

Start (or re-start) as friends and weave a way back to your ex’s heart.