Is your wife considering separation? Or are you already separated?
Losing someone as close as your wife is tough. After all, you two have shared so many moments of love, joy, and intimacy that it is kind of weird to imagine a life without her. I understand that’s hard, but like every difficult thing, separation brings an opportunity. It allows you to see things from a different perspective. And if you think through the situation well, you can even win your wife back.
Steps To Get Your Wife Back After She Leaves You
If you are someone struggling in a relationship or looking for ways to make your wife love you again, you are at the right spot. Today, I am going to share 14 ways to help you win your wife back. Try these ways to give your marriage a fresh start.
1. Think Through the Situation
Ok. So this is the first one and perhaps the most difficult one. But like all reflective reconciliation processes, this one has to start with you. You being the head of the family, need to think through the situation. What happened in your relationship that led to separation? (or demand for separation)
It is common for men to be so preoccupied with day to day activities that they seldom give their family a thought. And unless a problem arises, men are often busy with their own lives (now that’s a general trend, and you may be an exception). So the first step is to take a look at the situation and ask yourself what went wrong.
Think of all the instances where your wife had to tell you something, but she went quiet.
Or those moments when she flared up out of nowhere (obviously something was brewing up that you don’t know)
Obviously, there were mistakes at your end, and you will only realize them if you think through the situation.
2. Accept Your Mistakes
As you think through the entire situation at home, you identify the potential areas that went wrong in your marriage. And while identifying these weak spots is essential, it is equally important to accept your mistakes. Only when you accept that things were not right from your end will you be better positioned to avoid them in the future.
3. Communicate with Your Wife
So you have thought through the situation, and you know potential areas where you were lacking and made mistakes. Now, what’s next?
Start communicating with your wife.
Things may have turned bitter between you two, but there is still room for communication until you are finally divorced. So make sure you communicate with your wife. And since you two are adults, you should aim for mature communication, which is a two-way process rather than a negative blame game.
Even when you think you are not at fault, it is good to initiate the communication process. For women, communication is essential, and when your wife sees you taking a step forward in communicating with her, she is likely to respond positively.
4. Communicate to Learn
Don’t forget that communication is a two-way process. It allows you to share how you are feeling and what you think went wrong in your relationship. But it is also a way to understand your wife’s perspective. Know what she feels and thinks went wrong in your marriage. Use this communication to identify areas where you, as a husband or father, were lacking. Only when you know your wife’s perspective you can work on potential areas of improvement.
5. Put in Effort
You want a promotion at work? You put in extra hours.
You want to excel academically? You study hard.
You want to save your marriage?
Well, you will have to put in the effort. Just the way you pay heed to things you value, your marriage is exactly the same.
If your wife is still living in the same house, make an effort to make her feel loved and valued. Cook her favorite meal or give her a rest day at home. Bring her flowers or something she really cherished from the early days of your marriage. A keychain, a card, or anything would work. Such lovely gifts are conveniently available on Amazon.
It doesn’t have to be big. It just needs to show that you care and are putting effort to save your relationship.
If you are already separated, you can still show effort by dropping groceries for her. Or giving her a ride to work. Small things can make life easier for her.
6. Consistency is the Key
Things may have turned too bitter in your relationship, and your wife may not appreciate all the effort you are putting in to save your marriage. What should you do now?
Here consistency is the key. Make sure you continue to put in the effort. Continue to make her feel valued. Your consistency is a proof that you still love her and value your relationship with her. Only when you are consistent she will eventually melt away.
7. Be Patient
Don’t expect your wife to melt right away just because she is a woman. Women can be strong-headed and stubborn significantly when you have damaged her self-esteem and hurt her deeply. And that’s when you cannot expect things to get back to normal right away.
She may react, and you may get hurt in the process but let’s not forget that patience is the key that can unlock all doors. You need to be patient and continue to take a step forward towards her to save your relationship.
8. Bring a Change in You
If you are earnestly striving to save your marriage, by now, you would know what went wrong in your relationship. If you have had an honest conversation with her about your lacking and potential failures, you know where you need to improve as a husband.
So bring a change in you. Show through your actions that you are willing to make an effort to rectify your mistakes. Even when you were not at fault, there were still actions from your end that were bothering your wife. Introspect and find out how you can change the situation. And once you figure that out, show it through your actions.
By bringing a change in you, you can still make your wife fall in love with your even after she leaves you.
9. Assure Her That You Still Love Her
She decided to leave you because you had an extra-marital affair? Was she torn or damaged because you cheated on her?
If your past has hurt her deeply and damaged her respect and love for you, you will have to take some extra steps to assure her that you still love her. Yes, a verbal assurance is part of the process, but you need to assure her of your love through your actions. Only when you will endlessly put in the effort to make your relationship work, she might consider having her trust in you again.
10. Don’t Let Her Past Come in the Way Either
Was it your wife who cheated on you? Did she fall for another man who is no longer a part of her life? Separation is often a result of some really unpleasant life events, and if that was the case with you, and you still want to get your wife back after she leaves, keep one thing in mind.
Don’t let her past come in the way of your relationship.
If you are willing to give a fresh start to your marriage, then there is no point in clinging to her mistakes. Let bygones be bygones and work together for a better future.
11. Keep Negativity Aside
Women can easily get negative. And when you are trying to win a woman who has already made up her mind to leave you, the problem multiplies. She may end up hurting you through her words or through her unwillingness to continue a life with you.
Unfortunately, negativity is often contagious. If you find your wife being extra negative, you need to protect yourself from getting into the whirlpool of negativity. Instead, try and stay calm in these testing times. And when she sees you being so steadfast, she may end up thinking she can trust you again.
12. Be Yourself
Remember the older version of yourself? That version of yourself that your wife really loved and admired. Did she love the talkative and expressive husband she had, or was it the decent and graceful you she was in love with? Recall all the things from the early days of your marriage when both of you loved each other intensely.
Yes, indeed, your life is not the same anymore, and you have a lot more on your plate, but you can still try to be the older self that your wife loved.
I think this is the least you can do to get the Lovelady back home.
13. Never Give Up
If you have already made up your mind that you want to continue your marriage with your wife, you never need to give up. Give your 100% and beyond to save your marriage. And if you think you are the only one making an effort, disregard this thought because she too is struggling. If you never give up, she will surely reciprocate.
14. Try Counselling
If you have already tried out everything to convince your wife, but things are not going in the right direction, it is best to try counseling. A conversation with a professional therapist might help you and your wife put things into perspective. And when you think differently, you can find better and unique solutions to all your problems. So always try and give counseling a try.
Marriage is one of the most prestigious institutions, and if there are hiccups along the way, it does not mean you should end your relationship. You and wife have lived a life together, and that’s a big enough reason to continue living together. By trying out these 14 tips, you can surely get your wife back home!