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Why Does My Ex Want Me Back After I Moved On? [Explained!]

You are probably not sulking over them anymore.

You may have unfriended them on Facebook. You may even have deleted their number from your phone.

Suddenly, they seem to reappear in your life.

Ever wonder why exactly does your ex wants you back after you have moved on?

When your ex tries to contact you again, alarm bells are likely to go off in your mind, warning you not to fall into the same trap again. You certainly don’t want to have a go on the same emotional rollercoaster, especially after training yourself to let go and rely on your own self for your happiness.

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

You may receive an email or text from your ex, making you wonder whether it is an indication of their re-ignited interest in you.

It is possible that they contacted you because they are simply bored or lonely. However, the fact that they chose to contact you rather than any other person in their life may be an attempt to lure you back into a relationship.

Are you confused whether your ex really wants you back, or if you’re interpreting their behavior incorrectly? Here are some tell-tale signs that your ex wants to give it another go:

1. Trying to start a conversation

A casual text from your ex saying ‘hi’ does not necessarily imply that they are interested in you again. However, if they make it a routine to text you and ask you about particular aspects of your life, there may be more to it than meets the eye.

Shlomo Zalman Bregman, a renowned matchmaker, and a rabbi suggests looking out for good quality communication to determine your ex’s inclinations. If they inquire specifically about your family, love life, career, or other personal details, then it is likely that they are trying to get you back.

2. Discussing the breakup

It is normal for people to have a conversation about their breakup in order to come to terms with it. Once you and your ex allow each other some space, you may be ready to talk to them about what went wrong.

If your ex continues bringing up the breakup repeatedly, they probably haven’t come to terms with it yet. It is likely that they are having a hard time accepting that it’s over and want to work towards a patch-up.

3. Talking about the past

It is common to reminisce about past relationships. You may talk about them with your close friends or think about them when you are alone.

If your ex keeps bringing up the happiness-filled memories of your time with them, then they are likely trying to make you recall how good you two were together. It is clear that they miss those days and want you to miss them too.

4. Unusual interest in your love life

It is common to stay friends with your ex and catch up occasionally. People tend to discuss major life events and briefly talk about new love interests.

If your ex seems a little too interested in your love life, it may be a sign that they want you back. If they probe about your new partner, they may be trying to find out how you feel about them. Your ex may be trying to gauge the intensity of your feelings to determine whether they still stand a chance with you.

5. Attempting physical contact

Your ex may try to make physical contact with you whenever you two happen to meet. They may brush their hands against yours or move away from a strand of your hair from your face as you talk to them.

If your ex keeps trying to touch you in these subtle ways, it is a sign that they still have feelings for you. Sometimes, actions communicate more than words. As you know them well, you will be able to determine whether they make physical contact with affection or just due to habit.

Why Does Your Ex Want You Back?

It is definitely liberating to get over your ex and learn to move on. You get yourself busy with other aspects of your life and maybe even develop a crush on someone else. What happens if, at that point, your ex tries to re-enter your life?

Your ex is consciously trying to get you back if you notice any of the 5 signs above. You may want to avoid them like the plague if you don’t want the risk of going through the same emotional trauma again, or you may find the spark of attraction light up inside you once again. Here are 6 major reasons your ex wants you back:

1. Loneliness

Couples share a great deal with each other. Suddenly having no one to have meaningful conversations can take a toll on a person.

It is possible that your ex is approaching you because they are finding it difficult to adjust to single life instead of missing you in particular. If they say something like “I’ve really missed you” just a few days after your breakup, chances are that they are simply feeling lonely.

2. A desire for what they can’t have

Although this may sound old and clichéd, it is true that sometimes people desire exactly what moves out of their reach. Have you ever sold a belonging that you once adored but later grew tired of?

When you become bored with something, such as an old guitar, you finally sell it. However, after a few days pass, you may find yourself yearning for it again.

Think of your ex’s feelings about you along with the same pattern. Your ex may desire you as soon as they realize you are not with them any longer and have moved on with your life.

If you feel yourself getting attracted to them again, recall the emotional trauma you went through during the breakup. If you want a religious perspective to motivate you to move on, check out My Ex Wants Me Back: Don’t Let Your Past Have a Future on Amazon.

3. Getting impressed that you found someone else

People love the feeling that everyone who would see them would feel envious of them after looking at their attractive partner. If you have already found someone new, chances are that your ex starts looking at you in a different light.

The fact that you were able to attract a quality partner can make you seem more valuable to your ex. It is possible that they realize they made a mistake in letting you go once they see you with someone else. A confident, charming, and emotionally secure you could make your ex want to be with you again.

4. They are jealous of your new partner

Your ex may not realize he lost you until he sees you with someone else. This is when their feelings force them to lower their guard and want you back again.

When your ex sees you with your latest love interest, they may finally understand what they are missing out on. Remember to stay in control of the situation and be clear-headed about what you want. If you are happy with your new partner, simply ignore your ex’s advances.

5. Idealizing the past

While you may have moved on, your ex may not have found a new love interest yet. They may be wary of going through the dating process again, which can make them romanticize their past relationship with you.

Perhaps your ex has started thinking that things were not actually that bad between you two. They may want to get back together to avoid meeting new people and going through the drill of dating again.

According to Nicole Richardson, relationship expert, and therapist, “Getting back with an ex can feel like putting on an old favorite pair of jeans. It’s familiar, which can be comforting, but there was a reason they stopped being your favorite.”

If you begin to have feelings for your ex too, think about the nasty texts you exchanged with them while having a fight or breaking up. It will help you gain a better perspective of which path to opt.

6. They had dumped you in the heat of the moment

At times, an immature outburst can get the situation spiraling out of control. Your ex may have blurted out insults in the heat of the moment, which eventually led to a breakup.

While getting dumped can be a major blow to your self-esteem, it is not something you can’t recover from. When enough time has passed, there is a high chance that you have successfully moved on. However, your ex may begin to regret his overreaction and want to be with you again.

Watch this interesting video where Carisa Montooth discusses key reasons why your ex wants you back once you have moved on.

What To Do If You Have Moved On

If you have truly moved on, it is time to let your ex know that you are no longer interested in getting back together. Think about how you can communicate this to them without hurting them.

Organize your thoughts before you have that talk with your ex. According to relationship experts Adrian and Christina, “It helps a person to move on if they’re provided with reasons for your decision.”

You may have met someone new, prefer staying single, or may no longer have feelings for your ex anymore. Whatever the case is, it is best to explain it to them gently as they are already in a vulnerable position when they ask you back.

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