Thinking Your Ex Sleeping With Someone Else? [Do This!]
Thinking about your ex and their new boo is a universal problem that each of us has gone through at some point in our lives. There’s just something about this thought that keeps lingering in our heads and takes over our peace of mind.
However, it is important to deal with it and stop thinking about it if you want to move on and get anywhere.
You may think it’s impossible but trust me, I’m speaking from personal experience and can assure you that it’s very much doable and once you stop thinking about it, you’ll feel invincible. All you need is the right tactics and you’re set.
With these simple and effective ways, I guarantee results will come in a short time span!
Why Do We Think About It in the First Place?
Before we get to how to stop thinking about it, a major question remains; why do we even think about it in the first place? Knowing the root cause will help you solve the problem! Firstly, I would like you to know that it is completely normal, it is something that most of us do especially fresh out of a breakup.
According to Nashville-based psychotherapist Jeannie Ingram “When we have given someone our heart, as well as the most intimate part of ourselves, it’s excruciating to feel replaced or disregarded,” If you think about it that makes a lot of sense. If you’ve loved someone with all your heart, and now they’re sleeping with someone else it isn’t easy to let go, and the thought will be on your mind for a while if not dealt with correctly.
There are many reasons for this, the major one being that you haven’t yet moved on. If that’s the case then it is not surprising that you’ll be thinking about your ex with their new person.
Another reason is that you don’t have anyone in your life at the moment. When we are single we can sometimes get lonely and of course, in our loneliness, our mind wanders to our ex and their new G. This especially happens if all your friends around you are in relationships, you automatically start to think about your love life and of course, that means your ex and his love life.
Ways To Stop Thinking About Your Ex Sleeping With Someone Else
- Let Yourself Feel Whatever You’re Feeling
- Stop Looking Them Up on Social Media
- Remind Yourself Why You’re Not With Them
- Keep Yourself Busy
- Journal Your Thoughts
- Find What Makes You Happy
- Let Go In Your Own Way
- Avoid Comparing Yourself to the New G
- Seek Professional Help
1. Let Yourself Feel Whatever You’re Feeling
Though this may sound like a total contradiction, I guarantee you it’s the first step when it comes to getting your ex and their new boo out of your head. The more you keep fighting the thought or avoiding it, the more it’ll come and haunt you. So let the thought come, let yourself feel whatever emotions you’re feeling; if it makes you angry let it, if it upsets you feel the sadness.
Embrace the emotions because only then can you let them go and get them out of your system. “What you’re doing is honoring how deeply your heart loved and can love,” San Francisco-based marriage and family therapist Lynsie Seely said.
2. Stop Looking Them Up on Social Media
That being said, you shouldn’t instigate the feelings. One way of avoiding it is by not looking them up on social media. It is a toxic habit that will only lead to self-destruction and destroy your mental peace. You should have blocked them after the breakup in the first place but if you didn’t it’s high time now.
I know it’s tempting and you’re curious to see what they’re up to but checking their gram will only hinder the moving on the process and make you feel worse. It’ll get them further stuck in your head and you’ll regret stalking them in the first place.
Every time you feel like you’re about to click on their profile, make it a point to consciously stop yourself and stalk something else instead. It can be someone you’ve always found hot or even just one of your friends.
3. Remind Yourself Why You’re Not With Them
Sometimes it’s easy to remember the good parts of your relationship and forget the ugly ones. If you feel your mind constantly drift towards the thought of your ex and the person they’re sleeping with, divert it to the thought of why you two broke up in the first place.
Remind yourself why you wouldn’t want to be with them anymore; the bad habits, inconsistent behavior, etc. Make a list so that you remember and don’t dote on the thought of them and their new person. Instead, it’ll make you feel happy that you aren’t the one who has to deal with it anymore and that you deserve so much better.
4. Keep Yourself Busy
An idle mind is a home to self-destructive thoughts. In order to keep your mind from thinking about your ex and the person they’re sleeping with, it’s important to keep yourself busy. Focus on work and activities that you enjoy. It can be anything from painting to reading to spending time with your friends.
Take this time to try out something new, maybe a dance class that you’ve been thinking about for a while or a camping trip. If you keep yourself occupied with healthy habits and hobbies you’ll find your mind diverting less to anything to do with your ex!
5. Journal Your Thoughts
Journaling your thoughts and feelings is a healthy way of letting them out. Keep a physical journal where you write a thought or emotion when it comes to you. If you find that that’s not practical for you, then just journaling on your phone will work. It can be anything small like I can’t get him out of my head to deeper and stronger emotions.
This will not only help you track your progress too and see how well you’re doing moving on, but it will also be a great outlet for you to let those emotions out and away from your system.
You’d be surprised at how effective working out can be when it comes to this. Your mind is a powerful place and exercising helps keep it in check. It’ll blow off some steam and help you get rid of that negative energy.
Even if it’s just for 30 minutes a day, be sure to get some form of exercise. Once you’re done your mind will be at peace and you won’t spend the rest of your day imagining your ex with their latest addition.
7. Find What Makes You Happy
If you’re happy you won’t have time to focus on anything that doesn’t bring you even the slightest bit of joy. Use your energy to explore and find what it truly is that excites you and makes you happy. It’s time to rediscover yourself and do things that make you happy.
Be it an old hobby or something new and unexpected like riding a motorbike. The key is to have zero judgments when it comes to yourself and to keep trying new things until you find the one.
8. Let Go In Your Own Way
When it comes to moving on and letting go, everyone has their own way of doing so, from writing a letter to your ex and then burning it to giving their stuff away. If you find yourself often thinking about your ex and their new person, maybe it just means that you need to let go.
Choose a method that you’re most comfortable with, create your own ritual, and let them go. You can be creative with creating your ritual, maybe put their face as well as the new G’s onto a dartboard and shoot darts at them, or if you’re a calmer person you can release the energy by throwing pebbles in the sea.
9. Avoid Comparing Yourself to the New G
When you find out that your ex is sleeping with someone else, a common reaction is to start comparing yourself to the new person. Are you as sexy as them? As smart and funny and hot? While this is a normal reaction it is also one that will hinder your healing process.
If these thoughts come into your head, it is best to channel them into positive thoughts about yourself. Tell yourself that you are smart and pretty/handsome and sexy. That self-confidence will help you avoid thinking about your ex and the new boo.
10. Seek Professional Help
If none of the above tools seem to be working, it may be time to seek professional help. Consider going for therapy. You’d be surprised at how much talking can help and a therapist will be able to guide you in the right direction. This will also prevent you from falling into toxic coping mechanisms such as alcohol and drugs.
You’ll come out stronger and your mind will be so much more at peace. I can guarantee you that therapy will definitely help you think about your ex and their love life less and focus more on the important things in your life.