5 Reasons Your Ex Won’t Talk To You (And What To Do!)

Why won’t my ex talk to me?”

“We decided to remain friends, but it seems like he/she has no interest.”

If these thoughts ever run through your head, just know that you aren’t the only one. Ending your relationship on bad terms makes it easier to understand and accept why your ex isn’t talking to you.

However, sometimes you end things on good terms and even decide that you’re going to remain in touch with one another, but your ex doesn’t seem to want to communicate with you. 

If you’re confused about their intentions, well, I don’t blame you. However, trying to understand the reasons that your ex isn’t communicating with you might make you feel better.

So, without further ado, here are a few reasons why your ex won’t talk to you.

Reasons Your Ex Won’t Talk To You

1. They Aren’t Talking to You Because They’ve Found Someone Else

As tough as it can be to picture an ex moving on with someone else, you need to face reality and accept that it was bound to happen sooner or later. Even if you and your ex had a great friendship after your break, once they enter a new relationship, they will stop talking to you gradually or all at once. They merely do this to avoid any complications from occurring in their new relationship. 

I won’t deny that you might feel utterly disappointed and even left out after hearing the news of them moving on, but you will have to respect that you were part of his past, but not his future. Here’s something that might help make things easier for you: imagine getting into a new relationship and things are going pretty great, but you find out that your new partner is constantly in contact with their ex. I’m sure you wouldn’t be happy about it, would you? 

Moreover, if you are finding it really difficult to accept that your ex doesn’t want to talk to you because they’ve moved on, just make sure that you don’t vent it out on him or her. The jealous that you feel is completely natural, but ruining their new relationship or pestering them to talk to you won’t help them or you!

2. Your Ex Won’t Talk to You Because They Clearly Haven’t Moved On 

You might consider this to be a contradictory thought: why wouldn’t someone want to talk to you if they are still hung up on you? 

Well, hear me out!

Very often, we find ourselves addicted, craving for something that can be quite unhealthy for us. In this case, it’s a relationship (the toxic ones are the hardest to let go of!). So, just like an addict, sometimes the only way to get rid of a bad habit is to go cold turkey and get rid of it all together! 

If your ex won’t talk to you, then it might because they are trying to get over the feelings they are still hoarding for you. There’s a chance that you both were in love, but the circumstances just weren’t in your favor, making it even harder to move on. Except, the best way to move on in such cases is to cut the other person out of your life all together. 

While this may not always be the case, but if you believe that it is, it is imperative that you refrain from calling or texting them all the time. This will only end up driving them further away from you. Instead, you should leave them alone, giving them time and space to realize that they miss you. Unfortunately, this time and space might also give him the opportunity to get over you, but what’s meant to be, will be. 

3. Your Ex Hasn’t Forgiven You

There are many reasons why relationships end. There are three most likely scenarios; you did something, they did something, or things generally didn’t work out! In the case that your relationship ended because of something you did, then it shouldn’t be much of surprise to you if your ex doesn’t want to talk to you. 

Whether you cheated, lied, or simply tried to control their life too much – your ex might still resent you for leading to the downfall of your relationship, naturally pushing them further away from the thought of befriending you. 

In such cases, it is almost nearly impossible for you to get through to them or convince them to talk to you. After all, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be friends with a loved one who betrayed your trust or treated you badly, would you?

However, if you believe that it wasn’t your fault and they are acting unreasonably, you can try to have a conversation with them to give you both the closure you need. This conversation will determine whether you two can become friends or if it’s time to completely get over each other. 

4. They Aren’t Interested in Being Friends

Saying “we can still be friends” after a breakup is like saying “the dog died but we can still keep it.”

Whether you ended things on a good or bad note, one reason that your ex won’t talk to you might just be that they simply aren’t interesting in being friends with you. A majority of people find the concept of two exes being friends completely bizarre. The reason that most people find this to be absurd is because they believe that being friends with someone you used to love means that you aren’t truly over them. 

If your ex is one of those people who believes that two exes can’t or shouldn’t be friends, then it’s only fair to believe that they won’t be interested in speaking to you. On the other hand, if they don’t have a problem with the concept of two ex-lovers as friends, then probably just aren’t interested in being friends with you. 

As hard as it can be to accept the truth, there may be a few reasons that they don’t want to talk or be friends with you, including: 

  • They want to move on with their life
  • They don’t love you anymore
  • Your relationship ended on bad terms
  • They feel hurt that you gave up on the relationship 
  • They are coping up with the breakup 
  • They’ve found someone else

5. They Want to Avoid any Awkward Situations

Even if you and your ex were awfully close, it’s pretty natural for people to grow apart, wanting to cut each other out of their lives. Many times, an ex might not want to stop talking to you, but believe that they have to because you are no longer together. 

One of the main reasons for them cutting you off may simply be because they want to avoid any awkward situations. Let’s face it: it isn’t easy being friends with someone you used to date. How do you act? What do you do? How do you establish boundaries? It can all become pretty complicated. 

Also, if you two hangout together and end up bumping into someone who doesn’t know that you two have broken up, can create an extremely awkward situation. When two people break up, it’s normal for them to cut off all contact and stop speaking to each other completely, and by completely I mean, not even waving at each other when you pass in the street. Being friends with your ex can bring about certain situations that could’ve been avoided otherwise. 

Even though it might be quite challenging for you to come to terms with the fact that you won’t ever talk to your ex again, you have to accept their reasons for not wanting to do so. Moreover, you should be grateful to them for saving you from some potentially embarrassing situations that would arise otherwise.

What To Do When Your Ex Won’t Talk To You?

I understand that it can be pretty difficult to move on from a relationship. No matter what the reason may be, when a relationship ends, you can’t help but have nerve-wracking thoughts about what could’ve happened if things had worked out. I presume that this is a major reason that most of us find it quite hard to move on; we can’t help but think about how a relationship could have turned out. 

While the general answer to ‘what to do when your ex won’t talk to you?’ would be to move on, but if you really are keen on trying to get your ex to talk to you, here are a few tips that might help:

1. Avoid Bombarding Themwith Texts

If someone wants to talk to you, they will! If your ex hasn’t been replying to your texts or picking up your calls, it’s because they don’t want to. The more you try to call or text them, the more desperate you’ll seem, and the more that will push them away. So, if they aren’t talking to you, then you might want to cool down a bit, and wait for them to try to make an effort. 

2. Don’t Message Their Friends

Another major mistake that most people make is getting their ex’s friends involved in an already-messy situation. Well, if you are expecting them to clean up the mess, sorry to break this to you, but they won’t! If your ex isn’t talking to you, don’t wander around their friend group, trying to find out about how they are doing, if they’ve moved on, or just searching for a way to weasel your way back into their heart. 

So instead of trying to talk to his friends, try to keep your cool while reminding yourself that if they are ready to talk to you, they will! 

The Bottom Line

Unfortunately, life isn’t black and white; it doesn’t stick to narratives or pre-conceived notions of how things should be. Moreover, people aren’t always what we want or need them to be. 

Sometimes you are lucky enough to get closure from your previous relationship, but sometimes you don’t. Either way, if your ex won’t talk to you, the best thing for you would be to move on with your life just like they did. Focus on yourself and build your life. Very often, when exes see you doing better than them, that’s when they want you back!