9 Signs He is Hurting After the Breakup (and How To Stop it)

Breakups are never easy.

But sometimes, you have to let go of the person you love. Maybe you outgrew the relationship, caught your man cheating on you, suffered from abuse, or broke up simply because you both wanted something different from life.

Whatever it may be, after the breakup, guys always feel a sharp jab of intense hurt, especially if they loved you immensely.

If you see your ex avoiding the subject completely, it’s probably because they are trying not to lament on it; because talking about it brings back the pain of loss. However, deep down, they are still hurting. Some guys turn out to be mean and nasty, which is another telltale sign that your ex is deeply hurt.

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Signs He Is Hurting After the Breakup

Do Guys Really Feel the Pain of Breakup?

It’s only a myth to believe that guys don’t have emotions. Of course, they have feelings and they do feel the pain of losing their partner when they are deeply committed to their SO.

Having said that, feeling sad or upset over a breakup has also a lot to do with the guy’s nature. Some men tend to get over the breakup fast while others take a longer time.

In the end, it has a lot to do with the nature of the relationship guys shared with their partners.

1. He Cuts You Out from his Social Media

Because looking at your posts will intensify the pain he is already going through, making it hard for him to move on.

In this internet age, our real-world often coincides with our virtual world, and therefore, it can become a connecting point for your ex to see you and your activities. This can bring back old memories of you two together, deepening his pain even more.

Removing you from social media helps your ex to practice “out of sight, out of mind,” which can help him in his emotional healing process.

2. He Deletes “Pictures of Us” from His Social Media

As I said earlier, the sight of you can make your ex feel miserable. He may start to miss you badly and wish to have you back in his life. These emotions are difficult to fight back, so to keep away from feeling this way ever; your ex will delete all the photos of you and him together.

Since the relationship is over, your ex won’t see any point in keeping the memory of you and him on his social media. It’s all part of the process of moving on after all.

3. He Responds to You Unpleasantly

Especially if you try to contact him soon after the breakup. May be you messaged just to check on him or to mend the ties, if your ex gives you the cold shoulder, it clearly means he is heartbroken and not in the mood to talk to you. Here’s an example:

You: Hey! How’re you doing?

Him: Who’s this?


You: Hey! Can we talk?

Him: Don’t ever text me again.

 This kind of response will make you feel awkward and uncomfortable. You will end up regretting or cursing yourself for even sending that message.

4. He Treats You Like a Stranger

When your ex, who used to make you feel special every second of your life, starts behaving as if you mean nothing to them, it’s a telltale sign he is in enormous pain.

Your former partner may not see any point in being nice or friendly with you, and therefore, he may act as if he doesn’t know you. Treating you like a stranger can be your ex’s way of moving on. Certainly, he doesn’t want you in his life – not even as a friend – which is why he may act weirdly with you.

5. He Belittles You

When your former partner trash talks you with his friends or family, it means he is hurt after the breakup. By talking badly of you, your ex may feel better and gain sympathy, which may be another reason why he is belittling you.

 It’s very much possible that your ex got defensive while explaining why you both broke up, and in doing so, he put the entire blame on you. He may lie, call you names, or abuse you. In doing all of this, it will mean that your ex is trying to show himself in a better light and putting you in a bad spot.

6. He Threatens You

You know what they say, love doesn’t hurt, the ego does.

When you breakup with an egoistic man, it doesn’t go down well with him at all. Even though you never intended to bruise his ego, you are still blamed for the damage.   Out of anger and frustration, your ex may threaten to ruin your life. For example, he may blackmail you by threatening to leak your private pictures on the internet.

If worse comes to worst, he may also threaten to kill you or hurt your friends or family members. While threatening you or your loved ones in any way is the worst possible thing to do, it still shows that your ex is emotionally wounded.

7. He Keeps Calling or Texting You

In some cases, it’s not easy for men to face the sad reality that their girlfriends broke up with them or to get used to the fact that they are longer in a relationship with the woman they thought was the love of their lives. The new reality may come off as a huge blow to them. So, out of self-pity and loathing, your ex may keep calling or texting you at all times.

8. He Expresses Remorse

Guilt can cause a lot of pain.

Your ex may feel utterly guilty if you caught him cheating on you with someone else, or you found out he had been lying to you for a long time. The guilt may disturb him to the point that he may drunk-dial you, text you with apologies, or call you just to check up on you. In any case, keep in mind that the guy is not getting in touch with you to help you in some way. As he’s hurt, he’s trying to seek an honest apology from you and help himself shed off the guilt that has consumed his heart and mind.

9. He Slips Back into Bad Old Habits

One of the major signs he is hurting after the breakup is when he falls back into old patterns. This means your ex relapses into old behavior before you graced his life. For example, your former partner had stopped consuming alcohol when you were in his life, but after the breakup, he starts drinking again.

Instead of moving forward, your ex may choose to go backward. He may also develop some other bad habits along the way, such as taking drugs to relax, smoking out of stress, and the likes.

Does the Pain of Breakup Ever Go Away?

As the famous saying goes, time heals all wounds; in the initial days of the breakup, your ex may feel deeply wounded emotionally and may continue to feel that way until they finally begin to heal.

With time, they will find the light at the end of the tunnel and they will move on with their life, leaving behind the memories of you and him as either a beautiful lesson or a special time in life.

Is There a Way to Stop Hurting After the Breakup?

There are many ways through which you can speed up the healing process post-breakup. Here are some effective ways:

  • Allow yourself to feel the way you are feeling. Don’t bottle up your emotions. Let them flow out of you. It will assist you in your healing journey.
  • Keep yourself busy in different activities. This will help you stop lamenting on your ex and will help you move on quickly.
  • Talk to your loved ones when you need a shoulder to cry on.
  • Make new friends or catch up with the old ones. Again, this will prevent you from thinking of your ex and your relationship.


Breakups are always sad and emotional. Even if your ex appears to be strong and hardcore, somewhere deep down, he will feel emotionally broken.

When something as beautiful as a relationship where the two persons involved were madly love in with each other and felt were each other’s soulmates comes to an end, it feels like you (and your partner) have been hit by a truck.

As a result, your ex may go through emotional pain and suffering and may react in the ways I have discussed above.