Does your ex talk to you at certain times about certain things – intimacy, money, or anything else? Then they are probably using you.
Some signs that your ex is using you can be:
- Staying in touch but never meeting up
- Never showing interest in your life
- Saying and doing different things
- Only talking to you when they’re bored
If your ex is doing some of these things or the things mentioned below, know that they are using you. Here’s what you should do if you know that your ex is using you.
Warning Signs Your Ex Is Using You
Here are 5 unmistakable signs to prove that your ex is using you:
1. Your Ex Stays in Touch but Never Meets Up
After the breakup, your ex may feel worried that you will find a replacement and move on before they get a chance to do that. The tinge of jealousy at the prospect of this may incite them to keep a close watch on you.
They may stay in contact with you – texting, social media, phone calls. However, whenever you ask them to meet up, they will make an excuse or two and will never see you in person!
2. Your Ex Texts or Calls You Only When They Are Bored
Or only when they need something from you – financial support, one-night stand, or to be their date partner for a party, and the likes.
If your ex only reaches out to you for their own selfish needs and desires, it’s a telling sign they are using you.
3. Your Ex Never Listens to You or Shows Interest in Your Life
Does your ex keep on going about themself – their life, friends, family, and problems? Well, that’s okay, but do they never show interest in your life as well? Or, do they change the topic as soon as you speak about your issues? Well, if that’s the case, you need to re-assess your relationship with your ex.
4. Their Actions and Words Don’t Match Up
If your ex promises to be there for you, but they eventually don’t, they are indeed using you. For instance, your ex never picks your calls or replies to your texts when you are in an emergency despite them promising you to help you out whenever need be – chances are they don’t care about you.
5. Never Talks About Being in a Serious Relationship with You
When your ex gives you mixed signals and never wishes to take the relationship any further, it’s a sign they don’t want to be back together with you. In such a case, your ex might be using you, or they may not be in the mood or in the right frame of mind to settle down.
What You Should Do When You Realize Your Ex Is Using You
Perhaps you have spotted any, most, or all of the above warning signs when talking to your ex. How should you go about knowing your ex is using you? Here are some tips!
1. Stop Getting Used
Here’s the thing – your ex will use you as long as you let them do so. The moment you take control of things, your ex won’t even think of using you. In fact, they won’t get any chance to even think of using you. For example, if you see your ex only texts you when they want something from you, don’t reply to them.
2. Cut All Ties
I know you may not like this tip if you still have feelings for your ex. But you need to realize that your ex doesn’t love you anymore. They only stay connected with you because of their own selfish purposes. It may be hard to let go of your ex, but that’s your best option. Or sooner or later, the feeling of “I was used by my ex” will start crippling you from the inside; and it’s not an ideal way to be.
3. Let Them Know That You Know
Let your ex know that you are very much aware of their “game.” Don’t act innocent or stay mum about their act of using you. Show them that you know that they have been using you and that you won’t sit around and let them continue to use them. Doing so will put your ex to shame. And they will think twice before using you again.
4. Stop Being Nice to Your Ex
Don’t forget – “some people will only “love you” as much as they can use you. Their “loyalty” ends where the benefits stop.”
Perhaps you were doing everything your ex wanted you to just to get them back together with you. But as you can see, your ex only sought pleasure from you. They are not the ones to stick around. The sooner you realize this, the better. Don’t let your ex play with your emotions anymore. Take charge of your situation. Stop fulfilling every need or wish of your ex. Trust me, you won’t be the “bad person” here.
5. Get Over Your Ex
Part of the reason why you allow your ex to use you unknowingly is that you still have feelings for them. Try to get over your ex as soon as possible. Once you are over them, there’s no way your ex can ruin your life again.
How to Know If Your Ex Is Stringing You Along?
It’s not uncommon for dumpers to reach out to their exes after they dump them. They may keep talking to their ex out of boredom or due to the fear of being lonely. They may string along their ex for a year or so for their own selfish gains. Here are signs your ex is stringing you along:
1. Keeps Talking to You As a Friend
Your ex will stay friends with you in a way that stops you from healing emotionally. They may give you false hopes or prevents you from moving on.
2. Appears Remorseful or Overly Emotional
Your ex may appear apologetic by breaking up with you. They may sound overly emotional – a feeling that could be triggered by their own insecurities of the fear of loneliness. While they may sound remorseful, they may not show any signs of taking you back as their partner.
3. Stay in Contact for their Conveniences
Your ex will continue to string you along as long as you serve their needs and interests. The minute you try to get too close to them, they may take a step back.
4. Never Takes the Relationship Forward
Your ex will keep you hanging in the air. They will show interest in you but not enough to take you back as their partner.
How Can You Tell Your Ex Has Good Intentions for You?
When an ex shows up into your life again, it can be confusing whether or not they have good intentions or they are simply dragging you along. Here are some ways that can help you understand if your ex has good intentions for you:
1. Talk About the Future with You
If a person who loves and cares about you, be it your ex, will never shy away from discussing about the future with you. If they turn up again in your life and are still willing to talk about the possibility of being together, then they mean well for you.
2. Consistent Actions
Your ex will always be consistent with you in their behavior if they have good intentions for you at heart. You will be their first priority, and they will do anything to get you back in their life.
3. Put In Genuine Effort to Resolve the Issue
For whatever reason you broke up with your ex (or vice versa), remember, if your ex wants to mend the relationship with you, they will do everything in their capacity to make things work.
5. Listen to You Always
Your ex will always be willing to lend their ear if they truly care for you. If you’re facing any issue, a loving and caring ex will be ready to listen to you and help you out in whichever way they can.
There’s No Denying…
Dealing with an ex can be a tricky situation. You can never tell what’s really in their mind and heart, whether or not they have reached out to you with the best of intentions or they simply want to have fun for the time being.
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