I often wonder how someone can still be in love with a person who cheated on them.
I always wonder what my naïve friend sees in the jerk that broke her heart.
I believe that when a guy cheats on you, you should completely shut him out of your life without discussion and move on.
But that is just my opinion.
I know that some things are easier said than done. Learning to stop loving someone is one of those things. This article is aimed at giving you an insight into why you might still be in love with your cheater boyfriend.
You Still Love Him
Sometimes, when you fall deeply in love with someone, you tend to ignore the bad things about them and only see the good that they carry within themselves. They might not be entirely bad, but they might end up doing something which could cause you immense pain, such as cheating. But in the end, it becomes easier to forgive them because you don’t want to lose them.
For instance, if you find out that your boyfriend cheated on you while knowing that you love him and truly care for him, you might still forgive him, but why?
No matter how many times I roll my eyes at my friend’s obscure love for the guy who broke her heart, I can never change how she feels. As I said, I often wonder how someone can possibly love the person who cheated on them. The one they put all of their trust in and the one they thought would never hurt them. I suppose we all have our reasons, and it is your choice whether or not you forgive them. If you are going through something similar and wondering why you still have feelings for the guy who cheated on you, keep on reading.
Why Do Men Cheat?
1. They Can’t Resist the Temptation
There are some men out there who are not strong enough to resist the temptation of another woman. They see an opportunity, and they simply go for it. If he cheated on you when he saw an opportunity, he will most likely do it again.
2. Their Sex Life Is Boring
Some men cheat on their partners because their sex life is either boring or non-existent. Apparently, men find it justifiable when they claim that they need to spice up their sex life because they don’t get what they want from the woman they’re in a relationship with.
3. They Take It as a Challenge
Some men (and even women) feel that they can cheat and get away with it because their partner won’t find out about it. They take the opportunity as a challenge and even plan it beforehand. These men are likely to cheat again.
4. They Got an Opportunity and Took It
Most women are not too forward and don’t usually make the first move when they want to ask someone out. Men are the ones who usually initiate something. So for some men, when they see a woman making a move on them, they want to reciprocate.
But If He Loved Me… Why Did He Cheat?
I mentioned a bunch of reasons earlier as to why people cheat even though they might love the person that they’re with. However, it does happen. And let me just be clear about one thing. People who love their partners DON’T CHEAT! If your partner has cheated, don’t just assume that it was a “moment of weakness.” They need to be held responsible for what they’ve done.
Can You Trust Him Again?
Deciding whether or not you should trust your partner again after he cheated on you is probably one of the most difficult things to do. I understand that at the time, you must be full of different emotions (mostly anger), and you want to get out of this nightmare as soon as possible. Don’t worry; this article will help you decide. Watch out for the following signs. If you notice any, then it is okay to give him another chance:
1. He wants to talk about it
If your partner is open to having a conversation after cheating on you without showing any resentment or annoyance while discussing the subject, you can calmly ask him why he did what he did. If it’s because he is not satisfied in his relationship with you, perhaps you can ask him what it is and rebuild your foundation. But if he implies that he got bored and wanted to experience something new, you might not want to trust him again.
2. He is trying to make things right
If your partner is sincerely sorry and is trying to make things right again, it indicates that he really regrets his actions and does not want to lose you. You can give him another chance, but you should also be very careful not to let him take advantage of your forgiveness.
3. You know he won’t cheat again
If you want to trust your partner again, you should be able to trust him everywhere. If he goes out for an hour, you should know that he will not do something like this again. It will be difficult to convince yourself to trust him again, though, but if you really love him and still want to be with him, you can give the relationship another chance.
4. He is trying to change himself
If you still love your partner and want to be with him even after he cheated on you, he should make efforts to become a better person. He will try to change himself and be more involved in the relationship, which indicates that he wants to make things right.
Why Do You Love Him?
A man is unfaithful, usually when his desires are not met or when he yields to temptation. Every relationship is built on the boundaries of trust, love, admiration, honesty, and loyalty.
If your partner has cheated on you, but you still love him and want to be with him, it might be a reflection of your past relationships or maybe your own version of lack of self-esteem.
There could be plenty of reasons, such as:
- You might think that there will never be a better man than him in your life.
- You might have had some bad experiences with your ex, and you believe that this is just how life is.
- Ask yourself if you have given up on good faithful men.
- You have been long enough with this guy, and you are too attached to let go.
- You are letting your emotions cloud your judgment.
- You want to shoulder the responsibility for his ill acts, which makes you perceive that you love him.
- Perhaps you knew the signs but chose to ignore them because you didn’t want to cause any problems.
Things to Avoid
As you begin to learn and grow through the experience, you will eventually realize that the relationship you have with an infidel is probably not the healthiest one. If you decide to forgive him and build a fresh foundation for your relationship, that’s fine too as long as you are truly happy with your decision.
You don’t have to love him simply because you feel obligated to. You need to remember that it is your choice, and nobody can take away your right to happiness. Either way, it will be a new beginning for you, so whatever you decide, you must be content with it. There are, however, a few things that you must avoid even if you are still in love with your boyfriend:
1. Don’t Try Too hard
Don’t try to get the attention of your boyfriend by trying too hard. He is the one who cheated on you. He should be the one trying to catch your attention.
2. Don’t Overthink
The more you will think, the more complicated the situation will become. Take it easy, and calmly think about your next steps. If it gets too much, just sleep it off. Trust me; you will feel much better the next day.
3. Never Forgive Him Quickly
You are allowed to still be in love with your boyfriend who broke your heart, but this does not mean that you forgive him instantly and start trusting him again. Take your time. Reestablish the trust. There is no need to rush into anything.
Lessons to Remember
- Ask yourself and your partner about what you both want to accomplish in a relationship
- Have open communication with your partner about where the relationship is going
- Be honest with your partner and let him know if something is bothering you
- Ask yourself and your partner whether your needs are being fulfilled
- Love yourself and forgive yourself before loving and forgiving others
- Don’t settle for less in fear of never finding love. Settle for more love, and more importantly, more respect.
The point of this article is to not urge you to either leave or stay with your boyfriend. The point is to help you understand that the decision is not always simple, and there are many factors involved. You should also understand your own self-worth, respect, and value before making the decision.
Moreover, this decision cannot be made in the split of a second. You need to give yourself some time. You also need to give time to the other person to explain his actions. He will either feel true remorse or he will be indifferent. So if you want to forgive him and continue loving him, it is your choice.