If you have taken to looking at other couples and feeling wistful, and are asking yourself the question, “My wife isn’t fun, what can I do?” then this piece is for you.
Being with a boring partner can suck all the fun out of one’s life. If you think so too, then perhaps your spouse is as lifeless as a sloth, and you are getting tired of it. And now you are probably starting to wonder what happened to your wife or was she always like this and you had failed to notice because you were high on love?
Well, there could be a dozen reasons behind your wife’s perpetual dull demeanor, but regardless of the cause, you are desperate for a cure.
The Remedy: Look For the Cause
At the risk of sounding like every other self-claimed marriage expert on the internet, I will say you need to TALK to your wife and figure out what’s going on with her instead of trying to come up with activities to cheer her up.
You should remember that you are not the only party in the marriage (though it might feel that way), so you need to involve her in your quest to enliven her.
Are you wondering how you are going to broach the topic with your wife? Because certainly, you can’t just start the conversation by ‘you are killing me with your everlasting lack of interest in doing anything fun’ unless you want to start up a fight.
You need to play your cards right if you want something useful to come out of your attempt to get your wife to open up. Still not sure what you need to do? Then, let me help.
Ways To Deal With A Boring Wife:
1. The Curious Case of the Ever-Boring Wife
A boring wife can be a bit of an enigma, especially if you are unsure whether she was always this way or something made her so recently. So, the first thing you need to do is work out the timeline of your wife’s dreariness; is it innate, or did it surface in the recent past?
2. Take a Trip Down Memory Lane
In order to puzzle out your wife’s existing lack of interest in life, you need to leaf through the memories of your honeymoon phase. Go back to the good old days and try to remember if back then your wife used to do entertaining things involving the outdoors.
If your better half is naturally a dull person, then she wouldn’t have done anything super fun and would have preferred to stay home to cuddle or something. But at the time, you wouldn’t have noticed her impassivity because of all the post-wedding emotions.
Looking back, if you begin to feel that your wife is innately apathetic, then you might want to consider parting ways because you just found out that you both are not compatible.
3. The Shocking Revelation – Your Wife is a Bore
The honeymoon phase of a marriage is considered the dreamiest, most memorable time in a person’s life, and rightly so.
In those days, life seems full of love, hope, romance, and unbridled excitement. It’s such a time that even the banalest everyday activities become exciting because of the ever-present company of the one. But sadly, all the exhilaration and ever-present joy eventually fizzle out once the novelty of marriage begins to wear off.
4. Rite of passage, maybe?
While completely natural, the expiration of the honeymoon period can be hard for many couples and may even strain their relationship. Once the euphoria of becoming spouses dissipates, you start to notice the very obvious shortcomings in your partner that had seemed endearing quirks at one time.
Yes, you are right! All that insistence on staying home and cuddle during the early days of your marriage was actually your wife’s way of asking you not to go out, and it certainly worked every single time.
So, the bottom line is that you are an adventurist and your wife is a sloth. This means there is nothing reallythat you can do to ‘fix’ your wife. And frankly, you shouldn’t because it’s her life and, thus, her choice to stay however she wants. If you didn’t realize your wife’s personality sooner, it’s on you. I would suggest putting an end to your misery and part ways.
5. The Upsetting Revelation – Your Wife is an Adventurist When you are not in the Picture
Sometimes, a wife can lose interest in her husband for any number of reasons. And when that happens, you’ll notice that your partner goes out with her friends and meets up with her family but never wants to do anything fun with you. If you are facing this problem, then something went wrong between you two along the way, and your significant other is done with you.
In other words, she, for some reason, fell out of love with you. Believe it or not, couples losing interest in one another is a rampant reality in the modern world.
In this case, you need to talk to your wife and ask her if you did something to push her away. And let me tell you that the ‘why you are not interested in me anymore’ talk is not going to be easy. So, you need to brace yourself because you might learn things that would shake you up to the core.
Once you find out that all the feelings your wife had for you are gone, prepare to walk away. Don’t stay back to turn things around because it’d be rather pointless. If your wife stopped loving you once, she could certainly do that again.
6. The Painful Revelation-Your Wife is going through something but didn’t tell you.
Depression, stress, and anxiety can break down a person into innumerable pieces, so much so that they stop living. Too dramatic? But it’s a fact! People going through a rough patch in life or suffering from a mental illness can isolate themselves and hide their feelings from the ones closest to them.
If your wife distanced herself from you because she feels numb and hopeless, she might have depression. Depression doesn’t always show up in the form of uncontrollable crying; it can sometimes devoid a person of all emotions. And in that case, the patient might not even realize that they have a medical condition.
So, the chances are that when you talk to your wife, she might tell you that she’s okay; she just doesn’t feel anything. And that’ll be your cue to take her to a doctor.
One telltale sign of emotional or mental turmoil is a loss of interest in all activities. So, if your wife doesn’t go out with anyone and not just you, then you have enough grounds to believe that she is not herself.
The Way Forward:
Now that you have figured out why your wife has been so spiritless, you can think about what you want to do next.
1. Get a Divorce
Among all the previously mentioned scenarios, the first two call for a divorce. If your wife is naturally a boring person and you are not, then you can’t stay with her, inflicting misery upon you both. Similarly, if your wife has only lost interest in you, even then, you can’t continue being with her because she doesn’t want you.
So, consider getting a divorce. Talk to your wife and work out the legalities to officially end your dead marriage.
2. Get her Help
Overcoming depression is not easy. It requires consistent effort, professional help, and unending emotional support. If your wife is suffering from said disease or going through a crisis of her own, get her help, and be there for her.
Doing so will not be a piece of cake because there will be moments when you’ll run out of patience, but that’s when you need to remind yourself of the vows you made at the wedding. Remind yourself that you promised to be together in sickness and in health, and your wife is sick right now, so you need to stay strong for her and for yourself.
3. Consider Couples’ Therapy
Besides helping your wife, you need to help your marriage. And the best way to do that is to get couples’ therapy. It is crucial for you to do that because clearly, there is a communication gap between yourself and your wife; if that weren’t the case, then your partner would have talked to you, or maybe you would have realized her pain sooner.
But that didn’t happen, which means something is missing in your relationship, perhaps the openness that partners are meant to have. Talking to a marriage counselor will help you fix your marriage.
4. Be Ready to Compromise
Since you are the stable one in the relationship, you need to be willing to compromise whenever necessary. Even when your wife is in recovery, you can’t expect her to feel animated and excited over the prospect of date nights. You need to remember that the fact that your spouse has agreed to go out is proof enough that she’s trying, so you need to be patient and not rush her.
Moreover, know when you need to push your wife to get out of her burrow and when you need to step back. Ask your marriage counselor or your wife’s therapist to help you with that.
5. You Got This!
If you genuinely love your wife and are willing to do anything for her, then your sincere efforts to bring her back to life will not go futile. The key is not to give up on your wife or your marriage.